Unleash Your Potential: A Conversation with Maven Miara Shaw

Deneen L. Garrett: 00:02 00:20 This week's guest is Miara Shaw, also known as Maven Miara, a distinguished life business strategist, leadership facilitator, captivating speaker, and accomplished podcaster and author. Miara, tell us more about you.
Miara Shaw: 00:21 01:05 Hi, well, thanks for having me. I am, I say those things, life business strategist, public speaker. The thing I really love doing the most, I will say in this season of my life, is leadership development, predominantly with women entrepreneurs, predominantly with women of color, because we have some brilliant genius ideas. And it's a matter of pushing those out into the earth. You know, we can list all the barriers that we have to overcome just to be in the world. Right. But I think really helping women unlock those gifts and talents they have and share those with the world is what really lights my lights, my fire in this season of life.

Deneen L. Garrett: 01:10 01:49 I love that and I love that you made a point to say in this season, right? Because we have so many different seasons that we go through in life and we evolve, right? So what we love today is not necessarily what we're gonna love tomorrow and so on and so on. So it's great for you to say that for our audience to know that it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to evolve and that's what we want you to do. And that's why we have Amara, right? That's why we have the name. Yes. So let's get into how you help high performing leaders cultivate their own balance rhythm. And let's start with what is balance rhythm.

Miara Shaw: 01:50 02:56 So in my community that I call Maven Nation, we call balance rhythm really what people use is work-life balance or work-life harmony. I use the word rhythm because life is in motion, right? Monday won't look like Tuesday, Tuesday won't look like Wednesday. And so it is a rhythm, but how do you define that rhythm? We use boundaries to do that, right? We don't know what tomorrow's going to bring. We can journal it, put it on a Google calendar, pop-up alerts and all the things we do, but really how we manage the balance in our lives is what are we going to say yes to, what are we going to say no to, and really what's most important to us. And that really comes with figuring out those priorities of what's really most important to me, not what my family says should be important, my employer, friends, whoever it is, but in our And in the soul of us, what is really important to us. So that's what balance rhythm means is creating that harmony in your life for what you want it to be, what it looks like for you.

Deneen L. Garrett: 02:56 04:05 Absolutely. And what's very key in what you said is you, it starts us as an individual thing, right? I love that you stress that it's not about your employer, your family. It's truly about you. And I think when the more, and you know, and the more that we repeat this, the more that we say this, it will resonate with people. Right. Um, cause a lot of folks are not there yet. They're not there. Yeah. Yeah. It's about me. And that's, again, that's why you exist doing what you're doing. That's why I exist doing what I'm doing. So they say you are an energetic host of success with saneness. a transformative personal development podcast designed exclusively for leaders who seek to excel in both their professional and personal lives with balance. So this podcast, Women of Color: An Intimate Conversation is about empowering women of color and elevating their voices. So your podcast, Success with Saneness, is a transformative personal development podcast designed exclusively for leaders, as I've said. So what three actions would you coach women of color to take to tap into their power and voice?

Miara Shaw: 04:06 08:50 So the first one is that you, we just talked about, and that is spend some quality time with yourself. As you said, everyone is not there yet. And for me getting there to here, I call it becoming the maven. I feel like I cried for a year. It was unsettling. It was uncomfortable because I had kind of created this hustle and bustle life from being in the corporate space as a high energy trader. generating billions for companies and doing all of these things. And the next season of my life came after a layoff. So it was like, what the heck am I supposed to do now? And the first thing I had to get a grip on was what does Myra want? I know what Myra's been doing and doing well, which I needed all of those to lead me to the journey I was about to go on, but it really was spending that first point, spend some quality time with you. No one can tell you what your dream is. A dream is put in you. You have to decide how you're gonna bring it out. So the first key point I tell women is you gotta spend time with you. We, especially as women of color, listen, we balance a lot of balls, wear a lot of hats, do a lot of things. But until you can carve out that time to just say, not what my children need, not my spouse, my partner, my parents, my whomever, Me, what do I want, and that was a really uncomfortable season for me like I said I told my godmother I felt like my tear ducts were broken for a year, because it was this battle of trying to get still be quiet to hear it. yet I want it to be doing. I want it to be, I'm an executor. So it's like, I found value in doing stuff. And if I'm not doing anything, how in the heck can I be valued, right? That was a whole new mindset I had to create. So that first one is spend quality time with yourself to hear what your heart's telling you to do. The second one is write down those goals and dreams, no matter how seemingly unattainable they are in that moment. Uh, there are some dreams I wrote down back then that's been nine years ago that have just come to life seven years, eight years later. So it doesn't mean because you write something down, you know, the God I believe in is going to swoop down and say, okay, check Mark, here you go. I can assure you it's probably not going to happen that way, but right. Just still writing them down. The third thing is get an accountability partner, coach, advisor, mentor, whatever you want to call it. And one of the first things is go over those goals with that person. I can assure you, the things you wrote down are much smaller than they need to be. Because when it's just us thinking about just our power, not our network, not the people we're going to connect to, not the faith we have, we write it small. We're like, well, I can do this piece like I can, I can make this happen. But when you start to connect with people that are there to expand you and stretch you. In a safe way, you will realize that I say the dream you wrote as a size of a bowl is really supposed to be the size of a table. And you won't see that on your own. That's the power of connection. So those three things, spend some quality time with yourself, write down those goals and dreams, and then connect with the coach, mentor, advisor, whatever you want to call it. That's really going to help partner with you to bring those things to life. Because as I talk about seasons, the way you maybe wrote the goal today, oh, as you evolve, that goal is going to evolve, that dream is going to evolve. So it's gonna get scary. I wish I had something cuter to say, but it's going to be uncomfortable. And that's when you know, that's when you know you're onto something because if it's all comfortable and safe and you can do it just by yourself, Sis, I promise you, you are not in the right space. You are not doing it correctly. If you can do it with everything you want to do with ease, no pushing, no pulling, no rethinking, no doing a roundabout, doubting your faith, making failures. All of those things are required for us to get through each season of life, to keep going to the next place.

Deneen L. Garrett: 08:51 10:53 Yeah. And so we're, we're going to talk a little bit more about dreams in a little bit, but I want to kind of sit with what you're, you're saying right now. So, um, actually three, three different people. Right. Um, and, and I wanted, you know, tell our audience to stretch who you have as your accountability partner, your coach, et cetera. Right. And think about people who are like, yeah, you know what you should, you know, have you ever considered this or, you know, did you do this thing about yourself? And there's like people that do that for me and just on the humble, right. Friend who was constantly like, girl, I need you as my mirror. Like I need you at all the time. Like, you know, you feed into me, you put to me, like you are able to recognize and see things about me that I don't. And I had coined this term a couple of years ago, but I call it catch up to the vision. It's catch up to the vision. And so there's people who see things about you. They see around that corner that you don't quite yet. And so it's up to you to catch up to that vision. And so my friend, Toni Jones, she's that person for me. And then believe it or not, another woman who I was on her podcast. She has a space on LinkedIn, I think it's Dear Business Coach, Elizabeth Walker. And same with her, like she wants, you know, I'm going to be back on her podcast. And she's like, oh, I want to, you know, talk to you about panels, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, well, that's different than what we initially talked about. Right. She went on to say, well, it's a skill to be able to create panels and moderate and pull the people together, and I want you to talk about that. And so again, she's seeing something that I just do naturally, right? Right. Another thing, like, so she's seeing what I do naturally, my friend Tony sees what I do naturally that I don't necessarily look at as anything other than That's just what I feel said.

Miara Shaw: 10:53 10:58 Right. And look at a income generating skill set. Yes.

Deneen L. Garrett: 10:58 11:18 That part. Absolutely. That part. Okay. So let's kind of move on to this and you, you know, you went through your year and I'm sure that you, you know, I mean, well, you know what, you were forced to pause if you were in that year, but let's talk about the power in the pause. Why is it important for us to pause and how are some ways that you pause?

Miara Shaw: 11:19 14:24 So looking back on me getting laid off at the end of 2014 from Chevron, my journey had to happen that way. I had to get laid off because I would have made it comfortable. I would have stayed in my full-time role as a trader, bored to tears at that point in my career, but the money, the benefits, all the things, right? All the things. And I would have continued doing what I had started doing was networking events, women on the side, do both of these, this is, you know, this is fine. So the pause was critical for my journey. God knew that was the only way I was going to take the leap of faith. I had to be pushed into the leap, right? I still say, looking back nine years, I still don't believe I would have had the courage to resign. I still don't think, although knowing that I love this part of the journey now, I still don't think I would have had the courage and the bravery to say, I'm walking away from this six-figure job with six-figure bonuses. I was like, who really does that, right? So I knew my pause, it had to happen how it did. What that did for me was force me into that quiet time. Again, I'm an executor, I'm a doer, I can go. Listen, you talk about get it done, I can get it done. And I had not learned a different way. And I was working with a life coach and she told me, if you don't learn how to slow down, you're going to hit a brick wall. And when I tell you I left that lady's office, I was on fire, mad. Because I thought, how dare she tell me that this is how I have created success. This is what I know that works. And that was the beginning of the pause. Because then I called my best friend and was like, and she was like, well, even Superwoman has to learn to take her cape off. And literally in those moments, like you're mad about something, but you're like, huh, be onto something here. And the pause caused me to really just sit with it. All I could do for the first several months was just sit and just literally, I would just sit quietly and tears would just come down my eyes. I didn't, say a prayer. I didn't ask God for anything. All I could do was sit because I just needed to try to hear what, what am I supposed to be doing right now? What, what am I supposed to do? Because again, I have been in corporate for 27 years, a high performer.

Deneen L. Garrett: 14:24 14:29 So the layoff, I was like, who did you got the wrong inbox?

Miara Shaw: 14:32 15:06 And even through that, I had nine months to get ready to be laid off. And I went from grief, I went from being pissed off to grief, to absolute belief that that's what I was supposed to be doing. And so the pause really was so instrumental And me being able to show up today, doing the things I do, because if it had not been for that pause season, I would still just be, go, go, go.

Deneen L. Garrett: 15:06 15:08 I would have eventually hit the wall.

Miara Shaw: 15:08 15:38 Yeah. And I tell women, especially black women all the time, we can learn a new way. We do not have to wait until our health or some tragic thing happens for us to slow ourselves down and understand that we can have the dreams and goals we desire with grace for ourselves, for ourselves. And it doesn't require that we have to do all be all every day for everybody. Listen, the people are going to be all right.

Deneen L. Garrett: 15:38 15:42 Well, they can be all right. They need to figure it out for themselves.

Miara Shaw: 15:42 15:43 Yeah. Right.

Deneen L. Garrett: 15:43 15:53 Yeah. Yeah. They definitely need to. So I love that during your pause that you that release. Yeah. Let that, that, that, cause that wine is cleansing.

Miara Shaw: 15:53 16:43 Oh yeah. And that's all it was, was just, I said it was breaking my stony heart and making it palatable for the new season. And I needed all of that. Again, I was, you know, working with predominantly white men trading, like you're just going, you're executing. And for me to get the right heart to deal with the women that I now work with, listen, yeah. God had to have a little talk with me first. He, yeah, he had to straighten some stuff up, clean some things out before I could be in a position to hear what my heart, what women were saying about the dreams they wanted. And sometimes can't, you don't even, they don't even know what the barrier is. I don't know why I can't take the step. I've got to be able to hear what their heart is saying to help them figure out what that step is.

Deneen L. Garrett: 16:43 17:56 Absolutely. And you know what, I want to kind of say, you know, you mentioned that had it not, had you not been laid off, that you would not have made that change. I want to kind of say, you know, to, again, those that are listening or watching, it's okay. You know what I'm saying? It's okay. Um, that, you know, when you do something, you think back, oh, I should have, I could have done it like years ago or whatever. It's okay if you didn't. And be okay with that. Right. Because I think sometimes it's timing. You weren't meant to You hadn't learned everything that you needed to learn until you did. It was perfect timing. Yeah. Perfect timing. And so we have to, we have to take the time, the pause to reflect on that and say, you know what, that actually happened when it was supposed to. Here's where I'm at. Here's what I've learned. And now I can take this with me to whatever that next is. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So I'm going to pivot a bit. I honor my late sister, author and poet, Soltrue. by asking about Dreams Deferred, which is the title of one of her books. And you talked about something that you had wanted to do nine years ago, and you're kind of now doing it now. So please tell us more about that, if it was a Dreams Deferred, or if there's some other Dreams Deferred moment that you want to share.

Miara Shaw: 17:57 20:19 Yeah, so really this dream deferred, when I read that and checked out the book, for me, what came to mind immediately is oftentimes I feel like, at least for me, my dream deferred. I knew what it was like in the back of my mind, which really is one of the things I do now, podcasting, being able to reach a larger audience with what I feel like I was created to share. Fear says, keep deferring it. You're not ready. You need another session. You need another class. You need another, you need a new mic. You need a new light, like foolishness, right? All of those things, I think for me, it was fear that said, just keep it small. Just talk, keep talking to the ladies, maybe on your email list. Don't create a whole podcast. Don't try to get a live streaming television show yet. don't, don't do that yet. You're not ready. Well, when am I going to be ready? If I'm not ready now, when is ready? What is ready going to look like? Right. So for me, that dream deferred was around a few specific things of really going larger with, with what I wanted to share right now. It's the podcast space. And again, fear was what kept saying, oh, not yet. Well, everybody has a podcast. And, you know, all of these things that the power of a mentor, coach, or advisor, when you say really what it boils down to is foolishness, to that person, that's what you're, that's what you're telling yourself. Girl, what's the start date for this podcast? That's their job to push you past all the excuses. And just because it's an excuse doesn't mean it might not be legitimate in some way. I don't want women to hear that and think, oh, I have an excuse that's not valid. It could be valid. But if it's legitimate, there is a solution. Yes, that means there's a solution. So that dream deferred for me when I went to the book and kind of glanced through that, I was like, really, the thing that popped in my head was, I know what it is. I've written it down. But fear keeps saying, not yet. Keep deferring. Keep deferring. It's not time.

Deneen L. Garrett: 20:20 23:37 Yeah, and I love that. So we share that right for me, the podcast I so I had wanted to start it. So my podcast actually came from a panel that I created while I was in corporate and I created this panel for a national event in 2017 and I moderated that panel for three years straight. And then in 2019, after the last one, someone said, what's next? I'm like, oh, I'm going to do a podcast. So this was October 2019. Fast forward to 2020, and I'm like, yeah, I still want to do the podcast. But then I'm hemming and hawing. I'm like, girl, what? And then I'm like, well, I wanted to look a certain way and needs to, you know, be perfect. And and so I realized that I had a fear of being vulnerable. Mm hmm. But once I caught a thing, a thing, I just like eat it and went ahead and did it right. I watched podcasts in October 2020 and and grew from there. And there's so much that we can do with this space. And now I will say this, had I done it before April 2020, It obviously was not the time. Yeah. It was time when it was the time. Right. And I'm okay with that. Yeah. I embrace that. And then you move forward from there and you grow from there and you add, you know, and you, and you just continue to perfect. And so who's connected us is actually our podcast coach. Danielle Desir Corbett, who I actually had a conversation with yesterday. And so when you were saying earlier how, you know, connect with someone, accountability, a partner, a coach, whomever, mentor, absolutely. Because like with Danielle, you know, one of the things that I said for people who are like, oh, should I, you know, get a coach? Should I work with Danielle for podcast marketing, et cetera? I said, well, you know what, when you do enter a relationship, you're limited thinking, right? Or you just, with the knowledge you have at that time, you're like, oh, Um, this is what I want to accomplish. Right. And so you have an idea of how to get there. Right. And then you're asking this person for help, but then that person sees beyond again, um, catch up to the vision. They see other things because they have that expertise. Right. Ask you the questions to really get to what it is you really want to accomplish. So again, I walked in thinking, Oh, I want to do this one thing. And then throughout the relationship, it expanded and it actually turned into something else. So that's the beauty and value of connecting with another person, whether it's just someone who, you know, you trust and they're your mentor, accountability partner or someone that you actually, you know, hire as a coach. Right. We also talked about dreams. Right. And so I was smiling earlier because you were like, yeah, you know, dream it and then decide which is that those are two of my 3 plus D's for my dream lifestyle coaching. So it's the dream, right? And like, just dream, just think it, whatever, see it, envision it, admire it in another person, then decide what it is you want that life to be, design it, and then drive towards making it happen. So what is a dream lifestyle to you? How do you define it? And then how are you living a dream life?

Miara Shaw: 23:38 26:58 So for me, I would say that, again, it starts with that quiet time of me figuring out what do I want it to be? What do I want it to look like? The balanced rhythm lifestyle that I speak about and coach about and talk about is an individual thing. It's unique to you because, uh, the name's dream won't look like mine. Mine won't look like Danielle's, right? You have to figure out what, what do you want your dream to be? What do you think your thing is? And then spending that time to really say, this is how I want it to be, right? This is how I want to show up. And the, the work becomes, how do you bring that thing to life day in and day out? And how do you stay flexible on the journey so that as you evolve, you're not beating yourself up about making an adjustment? You know, I think sometimes we write the thing down and it's like, it's an ink. This cannot be adjusted. But I've, I've changed my mindset around that, that as I evolve, my dreams should be evolving also. So as, I'm creating this lifestyle. One of the things that I started incorporating in 2022, no, 2023, was I wanted to take a quarterly vacation. That could be a stay vacation, but it's just a break. And I successfully did that, yes, more than four times last year. We're at the top of this year, and I'm scheduled to do it more than four times this year. I want that to be a part of the dream that I'm living and I have the power and the right to do that. It's my dream, right? So I think one of the most important things for women is to realize you have all of the power to cultivate, create and design the dream as you want it to be. It doesn't have to be what someone else says it is. It doesn't have to be the latest trend. It's supposed to be what you want it to be because listen, Let me tell you, it's going to take all you have to bring that thing to life. So how disappointing would that be at the end of your journey? You've done all of this work to bring somebody else's dream to life instead of your own. And it takes bravery. It takes courage. It takes tenacity. It takes faith, however you believe faith to be. It's going to take all of that because, you know, it's easy for us to write Build a dream, design a dream, all the things around a dream. But if you are not intentional to keep digging, excavating, growing, blooming, pulling up weeds, all the things that need to happen for you to keep refreshing yourself and your dream, I think we get to the end of these journeys and realize, I did some stuff. But it wasn't the dream that I had. And I don't want anyone that I'm connected to to have that disappointment at the end of their journey. I want you to be able to say, I designed it. And I did each day some work toward bringing that to life.

Deneen L. Garrett: 26:58 27:57 Yeah. And that's exactly why I do empower women of color to live a dream lifestyle. Because of that, right? back before I did, actually, I think it might've been before I retired or right after I retired in June of 2022, someone else who had retired maybe the year before. So they were retired and then I heard that they had went back to work and they went back doing the same thing that they retired from, the thing that they didn't like. I was like, oh no, I was so sad for that person. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. No, I want women to find out their joy, and it does not mean you have to retire you don't have to leave that place. spend time with you, pause with you, get to know you, get to understand what it is you want. Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, and then moving towards that. It could be a and.

Miara Shaw: 27:57 28:15 Yes, do that. Because everyone's not created to be an entrepreneur. We still need amazing people in the corporate space, in the nonprofit space, in the community space. But you still have a dream attached to wherever you're supposed to be showing up in the world, wherever that is, you still have a dream attached to that.

Deneen L. Garrett: 28:15 28:23 Absolutely, absolutely. And to, you know, again, figure that out and tap into it. So before we wrap, what would you like to leave our audience with?

Miara Shaw: 28:24 29:24 I think that really, you listen to this episode and you hear all the joy that Deneen and I have about dreams and bringing them to life and all of that. Know that we have experienced setbacks, failures, doubt, do it again, start it over, throw it away, all of the stuff. I tell women, I dust my LinkedIn resume off once a month. I'm going back to corporate every month. I'm like, this is too much, right? I know that's not the space for me in this season. Maybe it is in the future. That's not something I wrote down. I don't desire that. But no matter what the twist, the turn, the setback, the start over is, that you are CPR. That means you're capable, prepared, and ready. for your very next step. Whatever that step is, you're CPR for it, capable, prepared, and ready to take it.

Deneen L. Garrett: 29:24 29:35 Ooh, I love that. I love that. Miara Shaw, thank you so much for lending your voice on women of color in intimate conversation, and enjoy the rest of your day. Thanks for having me.