The Self-Care Revolution: Why Every Woman Must Prioritize Herself with Cassandra Juniphant

Deneen L. Garrett: 00:04 01:05
Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Women of Color, An Intimate Conversation. And today we're talking about something that's essential for living your dream life, self-care. But not just self-care as an afterthought, we're diving into the power in the pause. And you know I like to talk about that. So how slowing down, prioritizing yourself, and creating an intentional self-care strategy can transform your life. My guest, Cassandra Juniphant, knows this firsthand. As the founder of Ori Ara, she helps women integrate traditional wellness practices into modern life. ensuring that self-care is a foundation for success, not an afterthought. Cassandra, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. So let's get started. What's one self-care ritual you never skip, no matter how busy life gets?

Cassandra Juniphant: 01:07 02:08 Oh, that's a good question. Never skip. I would say, you know what? I cannot. So I'm going to answer this kind of like in the reverse. But one thing I cannot do is eat fast food. OK. If no matter what's going on, if running back and forth, trying to make something happen, got to get to meetings, pick up the kids, work, all of that, I'm not going to stop at McDonald's. I am not going to stop at Chick-fil-A. I am not going to stop at Taco Bell. I will figure anything out before I eat fast food. I'm conscious and really intentional about what I put into my body because that whole saying, you are what you eat. It's not like this little cute, quippy saying, like it's for real. You know, it becomes the molecular structure, literally the fabric of our body going forward. And I'm really intimately aware of how food affects our mood, our mental health, our physical health. And so I will not put trash like fast food in my body. I just won't.

Deneen L. Garrett: 02:08 02:47 Well, good for you, right? Because I'm pretty much the opposite. And so I'm glad that we're having this conversation, right? Because I know all the things like what you're saying. I think I was writing in my journal or I was thinking it, praying it or whatever. And I'm just saying, please help me, help me. Because I know that what I am consuming is not good. Right. You know, it impacts us mentally, physically, disease, weight, all the things. And it's not good. It's like, we're not taking care of this one body, this one life that we have. So again, I'm glad we're having this conversation.

Cassandra Juniphant: 02:48 02:49 Yeah. Yeah.

Deneen L. Garrett: 02:49 03:10 I didn't mean to call you out like that. I know, right? I know. Sure. This is going to be good. Okay, so before Ari Ara, you were a corporate executive. When did you first realize the power in the pause that slowing down could actually help you move forward?

Cassandra Juniphant: 03:12 06:24 You know, so my, I guess, kind of transition from corporate to all of this self-care stuff, they kind of actually overlapped. And that's what made me realize. So I was, yeah, in corporate, you know, doing the corporate hustle thing. Then I got pregnant with my second child, my son. And like a lot of women, I struggled to lose the baby weight. Like I just couldn't get the baby weight off. And so believe it or not, I accidentally found bodybuilding and I became enchanted. Like I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe women can look like this. And so I became a bodybuilder. For five years, and I got my pro card in 2016 but on that journey. I fell in love with having a body and that that same time actually was when I was going through my spiritual kind of journey as well. So my spirituality my fitness journey started around the same time and I was one day in the gym. getting ready for a bodybuilding show and dying, like just absolutely dying, couldn't make it through the workout. And then I remember, you know, God, source, spirit, whatever you believe in, spoke to me loud and clear for the first time on this new spiritual journey that I was going on, spoke to me loud and clear for the first time from the inside and said, this is what we came for. And I got an immediate download that having a body was central to life, to everything. And so I became super passionate about having a body. So when I started bodybuilding, I became a certified personal trainer, a yoga instructor. I owned a gym. I studied martial arts, supplements, nutrition, all of the things because I just became fascinated. Like, oh my gosh, I have a body. What does it do? How does it work? Now, I say all of that to say that this was alongside my corporate career. I'm doing this as a side hustle. And everyone's like, oh my gosh, your abs. Oh my gosh, your trophies. And I'm like, yeah, that's great. But I promise you, sis, something else spiritual, something else more special is happening on the inside. I'm changing on the inside. And what you guys see is just the overflow. And I took a good, hard look at my life and realized that my corporate career was going like this. I was getting the raises. I was getting the promotions. And I'm clear it's because of my health and well-being. I demonstrated that I could lead myself first before stepping up and leading others. And it was evident in how I showed up to the world, not physically, like in terms of being a bodybuilder, but just my energy and how I carried myself and all the things that my body did say about my discipline, my time management, all of the things that it takes to be a leader. And so these things overlapped my journey on the health and fitness and self-care and my corporate career. So it wasn't like there was a pivotal moment, to circle back to answering your question, there wasn't like a moment when I realized that taking care of myself and pausing, it was a gradual sort of journey and a realization that happened on this journey where I was like, wow, this is magic happening in my life right now. And it's because I'm healthy.

Deneen L. Garrett: 06:24 06:50 And it goes back to what you said, like, you know, we are what we eat, we are what we put in our bodies and what we do with our bodies, right? And by the way, I do, I have a correction to make. Yes, it's the baby fat. That's what's going on. It's not me eating, you know, eating a fast food and things like that. It's the baby fat for my 23 year old son. That's what it is.

Cassandra Juniphant: 06:50 06:51 Exactly.

Deneen L. Garrett: 06:51 06:53 I just wanted to make that clear.

Cassandra Juniphant: 06:53 06:56 Okay. Okay. I feel you. I feel you. I've been there. I've been there.

Deneen L. Garrett: 06:56 07:08 Right. Right. Okay. So women, we often push through exhaustion thinking that, you know, we have to keep going to be successful. Why is pausing an essential for sustainable success?

Cassandra Juniphant: 07:11 08:19 Well, I say, you know, I heard this quote a long time ago, and it changed my life, which is, to be a force of nature, you must work with nature. And everything in nature rests. Everything rests. And we're foolish. And we're kind of, you know, like, how dare we think we know better than Mother Nature, than we know, you know, that our little human brain is going to outsmart the natural order of things. Everything must rest. It's just that simple. It really is just that simple. And so, you know, allowing ourselves to fall in line with these natural cycles of life, the death and the rebirth, the resting and the stillness before, you know, being tactical and taking action. These are just natural cycles. And so, yeah, to be a force of nature, you must work with nature and pausing and resting and recovering, rejuvenating, all of that is part of the cycle. We cannot emit it or eliminate it or omit it. And thinking that that's going to get us to go there faster doesn't work that way.

Deneen L. Garrett: 08:20 09:28 Right. And you know what? And right now, like, you know, I've seen women, you know, people posting about, oh, you know, we're almost at spring. And so now it's time for spring cleaning, et cetera. And it's really an acknowledgment of everything that you're saying is that, you know, the seasons, the plants, you know, earth rested. Right. Oh, we have a visitor. She was like, hi. She wanted to make herself known and show off her beautiful body. But anyway, those things were dormant. And because they needed to rest so that they can show up and show out now. So we need to do the same thing as well. Not that we wait for months, but that we just do it and we incorporate that into our lives. And so I love that. And it's a reminder. So when we're looking at plants, we're looking at nature, walking outside, or just even getting into our cars, pay attention. Because those things are reminders for us to take better care of our bodies, and to pause, and to slow down, and to listen, and everything that you said. Yeah.

Cassandra Juniphant: 09:28 10:28 Yeah, so for any- Oh, go ahead. Well, I was going to say for any woman, you know, listening and you might be in your feelings because it's what the beginning of March and maybe you haven't made great strides on your New Year's resolutions. And I want to assure you that you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to. Winter is the season of rest and rejuvenation and recovering, not killing your goals. You know what I mean? And so right now you're supposed to be being dormant and letting your body literally regenerate itself so that when spring comes and everything else is blooming, that's when you step out in bloom. That's when you go hard. That's when you're really, you know, out there killing it. It's not right now. And so just understand that, you know, if you're not killing it right now, it's not, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not doing, you're not, it's not that you're unmotivated. It's not that you're not, it's none of those things. Mother nature, your body is literally responding the way it's supposed to the mother nature and you can't fight it. And that's why it's so hard right now. So just don't, just get on board and save your goals for March 21st.

Deneen L. Garrett: 10:30 10:55 I love that. Right. There was a woman who posted, she's like, Oh, you know, like it, it was downtime for her. Like, and it was just the day. It wasn't like it was a week or a month or anything like that. And she was having a hard time with it. And I pretty much told her a lot of what you just said, like, you're supposed to, we need to incorporate this. You're not wasting time. Right. And you know, you have to, do these things, because rest is what? Restoration.

Cassandra Juniphant: 10:56 10:56 Yes.

Deneen L. Garrett: 10:56 11:22 Restorative, right? You know, when you pull back and you slow down, then you're able to move forward and get further, right? It's a strategy, it's not a setback, as so many women perceive it. Yeah, no, definitely not a setback, for sure. Yeah. So for the women who are listening or watching, who feel like they don't have time to pause what's one small shift that they can make today?

Cassandra Juniphant: 11:22 12:54 Oh, goodness. That's easy. Get some sleep. Get some sleep. Eight hours of sleep every night. I challenge you. I challenge you. It will absolutely change your life. You know, a lot of women, we think we don't have time to do the, you know, the two hours in the gym or like do the meal prep for the crazy food. And I always say that, you know, That's not necessarily necessarily the first step to getting healthy is the diet and the exercise. That's great. We definitely want to get there. That should be incorporated in at some point. But if you want to start someplace, start with the rest. You know, when it comes to diet and exercise, it's going to take. weeks, months, if not years, to really get to a place where you're truly healthy. But with sleep, immediately, overnight, one night's good sleep will absolutely, like 180, change the health in your body. There's so many mechanisms and systems and things that come online only when we sleep. There's nothing that we can do to at all replace it. We can wear a waist trainer, we can do all the other things to make our body look a certain type of way, but there's nothing that replaces the quality of the impact of quality sleep. And so I tell women to challenge themselves before worrying about getting a personal trainer, before spending thousands on that woman's retreat that's supposed to make you feel everything. Spend a couple of weeks just getting eight hours of sleep every night. That will change your life. I promise you. So what's next after the sleep? Water. OK. Hydrate. You're making a face.

Deneen L. Garrett: 12:55 13:03 I am making a face. Because again, you know what I said about all those other things when we first started. Yeah, water.

Cassandra Juniphant: 13:05 15:33 Water is the next step. Water is magic. It's really magic. Our bodies are made of mostly water. And I think we all know that cognitively, but I don't really think we really sit with what does that mean. Right. You know, like, like, really just ask yourself, allow yourself to ponder that question and sit with that question. Like, if this is what you're made of and you are lacking or deficient in that, what does that do for your body? What does that do for your health? What does that do for your quality of life? Water has been a ritualistic, spiritual, medicinal, element since the beginning of time. When the pioneers were looking for new places to settle, they based it on water. That's how important, when we look for life on other planets, we're looking for water. That's what water means to us. It's that essential. And so staying hydrated is the number two thing I would say that you want to do. to dramatically impact the quality of your life and the quality of your health. And a pro tip is to bless your water before you drink it. Water holds memory. Water is a communicator. Water is a transporter, not just physically, but energetically. And so when you speak life into your water, when you bless your water, it literally holds the memory and the energy of that blessing. And then what happens? You drink it and then you become that blessing. There's all sorts of studies that show that. when you speak to water and you play high vibrational music to water and then you freeze it, it forms these beautiful like sacred geometrical patterns and it just looks beautiful versus you speak poorly or you speak negatively or play low vibrational music to water and you freeze that, it's these harsh, jagged, ugly, you know, things and it's just a demonstration of how much water absorbs and it takes in, you know, the energy around it and so If you're low on water and in your mind, you're not thinking positive thoughts about yourself, you're probably not feeling very well. You're probably not feeling very well, but you get hydrated and you speak positive thoughts. You are charging that water in your body with all of that positivity. And again, that is what that's 80, 70 to 80% of our body, you know, 70 to 80% of our brain, our skin, our hair, our nails, all of the things require water. So the number two thing, absolutely drink some water and drink a lot.

Deneen L. Garrett: 15:34 16:37 And I know that when I do read like, Oh, you know what, what are some things to do for this for that water is always there. Right. So, yes. But I think, you know, just like with everything we're talking about, we need to rethink our relationship with water. We need to think about it beyond just, Oh, just drink water. Like really understand what water does for us. There's so many. So many, so, so, so many benefits to drinking water, right? Like you named a few, but there's like a list even beyond. And so I think if we take our time to look at that, then maybe we, I, will have a better and a different relationship. So this podcast is about empowering women of color to live a dream lifestyle, to live their best lives. So our conversations that we're having is for that, it's for that reason, again, to empower them. And so living a dream life isn't just about career success, it's about feeling fulfilled. How does self-care help women design a life they truly love?

Cassandra Juniphant: 16:38 19:04 Oh my goodness. Well, I say self-care, practicing self-care is practicing the habits of your favorite version of yourself. Like when you think about the rich, famous, or maybe it's not even fame that you want, but the wealth and this, the easy living that you're thinking of, you're not thinking of the woman who's pulling up in, no offense, but like, you're not pulling up in Chick-fil-A ordering the Diet Coke. The woman you're thinking about when you think of your highest version, your favorite version of yourself, she's, she's eating, you know, like, like, like, um, Oh, why did you just lift my brain? Um, gourmet, you know, I clean healthy foods and, and she's moving her body and she feels confident rolling her hips, you know, and, and, and can walk without, you know, limping because she's taking care of her body. This is, this is like, when we think about that version of ourselves, that's what she looks like. And it's like, well, okay, well, how does she get there? She's practicing self-care. She's rested. She doesn't have big old bags under her eyes because she's staying up late doom scrolling. She recognizes that she's a rested woman. She's a rested goddess. And so she's going to get her sleep because that's, you know, the dream version of her. So I always say that practicing self-care is practicing the habits of your dream version of yourself. And that, you know, the other thing I always say is that a healthy body vibrates at the frequency of our highest, of our highest dreams. And that's because health and well-being is an energy that we radiate and like attracts like. And so like when you're pouring into yourself, you're investing in yourself with self-care, you're literally signaling to the world These are my personal standards. This is who I am. I take care of myself. And so I can't and won't stand for anyone who doesn't treat me the same. And so you're attracting into your life people and situations and circumstances that mirror that love you're giving yourself. It just works that way. I'm a testament to that. The women that I work with are a testament to that, that just by really self-love or self-care is a form of self-love. And that then again, it becomes a frequency that you radiate, that it brings other similar treatment of yourself to yourself. And so when, to your point about, you know, it not being just about work, but it being about a quality of life and being about fulfillment. Um, yeah, you will absolutely be fulfilled when you start with, you know, loving yourself through self-care.

Deneen L. Garrett: 19:05 19:30 Yeah. No, I'm listening to you and I'm thinking, I'm like, yeah. Uh, and when you mentioned about the moving and how you may feel when you get up from the chair and all those things, I'm like, And what also comes to mind for me is a block so what's blocking us for those of us who are not doing these things like what's in the way. What do we need to remove what do we need to address.

Cassandra Juniphant: 19:31 23:09 Everything is in the way. Literally, everything is in the way. So if you're listening to this, you know, please understand that this is not from a place of like shame or guilt, or you should know this is from a place of I totally understand why we're here. We live in a society, for the first time in human history, we live in a society that does not support our health or humanity. everything is working against us. I get chills as I talk about this. Like literally everything is working against us. And so you have to be intentional. You have to find a way to break through the noise of everything that's grabbing at your attention. Because as soon as you put your attention out there, you're not putting it in here. And they're counting on that. They're banking on that. We're literally spending money. We're spending our energy. We're spending our attention on these things outside of us. So it's easy to ignore all of the things that are falling apart on the inside because we're literally just not paying any attention. And that is done by design. They profit off of us not understanding. And so one of the things that we can do are join communities and start to surround yourself with women who, you know, it's just second nature to them to take care of themselves because you are the culmination of the people that you hang around. And, you know, beginning to first get curious, you know, It's like, okay, you've heard all of this. I've been out here preaching at you. I've been talking. And so like the next step would be like, get curious. It's like, huh, I do have a body. Why? What does it do? How does it work? What is it meant to like, how can it better my life? How can I optimize it? Like just asking yourself questions. You don't have to have answers. It's just asking the questions and letting the neural pathways in your brain open up. And they'll go in search of answers and they'll start to bring it back. But at first just starts with, What would life be like if I were healthy? Who would I attract into my life? How much money do you think I can, you know, much more money do you think I could take if I was actually, you know, really feeling myself like that? Like you wanted to start asking yourself these kind of questions and the answers will slowly appear. And then as they begin to appear, you'll know the next step. You don't know, but I think it does start with the curiosity. And then I've got, you know, I just launched my community, the self care collective, and it's intentionally made for women who are looking for community. And I'm sure you have these conversations all day. So you probably know about, you know, meeting women that were on these healing journeys, right? Like we're doing better, we're healing, we're making our money, we're doing things. And sometimes it gets lonely, because the people you grew up with or the people that you used to hanging out with, they're not on the same journey as you are, or they're behind you. And so it's like, I feel myself healing. I feel myself being pulled in this direction, but there's nobody over there. I have no new friends. And all your old friends are back here, you know, grabbing at you. And so I created this space for the women who are healing and evolving. They're like, well, where's my new people? Where's my new tribe? I'm the next level version of myself. Where are all the other women who are the next level version of themselves? And not because they're working hard and putting their nose to the grindstone and doing the grind. Not because of that. That's not the next level I'm talking about. I'm talking about fully embodying your goddess energy. For real, for real. Now I could go goddess, go queen. No, for real. This is how we talk. This is how we behave. This is how we act. This is how we treat ourselves. It's that energy. And so I've created the space for women who are interested in joining like-minded women. But that aside, like I said, I think it's really an opportunity to develop a curiosity about yourself and your body and what your full potential looks like. And it's on the other side of your health and well-being.

Deneen L. Garrett: 23:10 24:29 Yeah. And so I definitely want to just point out here. So those who are watching or listening, you definitely will have a way of connecting with Cassandra. So her information will be in a show notes, but I do want to, you know, talk about community because the conversations that I'm having, you know, regardless of what we're talking about, whether it's self care, whether it's someone who is an expert in, making charcuterie boards or, you know, whatever it is, we're talking about the value of community and how important it is for us to be in community with other people. And as you're pointing out, people who are in search of the next version of themselves, who are working towards the next versions of themselves, you know, women who are leveling up. So, community is key. And I just want to stress that, because again, that's something that's warming throughout the conversations that I'm having. So you talked about sleep, you talked about water. What's maybe one thing a woman can do now? Because you know, we say, oh, I don't have time to fit that in. What's one thing that we can do now to be intentional, you know, a non-negotiable part of our routine? What is that thing?

Cassandra Juniphant: 24:30 27:04 I mean, I really would double down on the sleep and the water and actually what I started our conversation with about paying attention to the foods that you eat. And what I like to point out about the things that I'm mentioning are that these are things that we're doing anyways. They don't take up more time. Right. This is my business model, as you mentioned in the intro, is reviving traditional wellness for modern women. We're not reinventing the wheel. I'm not going to give you or suggest you do some crazy diet. I'm not going to suggest that you just make it happen and go to the gym for an hour. No, that's not. That's not realistic, and that's not really going to move the needle. The three things that I mentioned, rest, hydration, and high vibrational foods, eating healthy, are things we're doing anyways. It's just a matter of doing them with intention. Some of us go to bed grudgingly, like, oh, fuck, I need to go to sleep, so let me just go ahead and put this phone down. That's one thing. You could fall asleep or you could fall asleep being so deeply appreciative that you're about to be restored. And you can ask for God, your ancestors, your angels, your guides, whatever, to come and give you answers for whatever's weighing on your heart and go to sleep with peace and be thankful to wake up the next morning. That's two different types of rest you're getting there in the first example versus the second, but it's the same amount of time and it's the same action, right? So it's doing so intentionally. We can drink water and be like, ah, my doctor's making me, you know, drink this water and do it because they say so. Or it's like, my God, this is all I got to do to be healthy, bless and drink this water. What a blessing is that? Are you kidding me? Right. This is going to change my life. You know, like it's intention. It's we're going to eat anyways. The energy transfer of food is a real thing. Food alchemy is a real thing. Again, you are what you eat. That's not just a cute saying. And so it's like, okay, you have all of these options wherever we go. You just make an option that is going to support your health as opposed to making a decision that's not. So it's not taking up any more time. It's just being intentional about it. And I'm going to stress that, you know, every time I get a chance to talk to women about making lifestyle changes is that you don't need more time. You need more intention. There's a difference. It's not about doing more. It's about doing more aligned, right? These things are bringing you into alignment with yourself. And when you're in alignment with yourself, life is effortless. Life flows. Life feels good. It's when we're out of alignment and we're just doing more for the sake of doing more that it gets to be hard and stressful and overwhelming.

Deneen L. Garrett: 27:05 27:55 Yeah, and so definitely I would say I am out of alignment right now and I'm not quite sure what it is, right? Because travel is the number one way that I live a dream life. And I had planned, actually I should be in Portugal right now. Nice. But I'm not, right? I was like, yeah, I'm not going, right? And maybe I'll go to end of this month, but I'm not quite sure what it is that's keeping me, blocking me from going to the airport and going. So for other women, you know, whether they're feeling exhausted or disconnected from their dream life, what's the first thing that we should ask ourselves? Like, what should I ask myself about, like, what's in a way? I know you talked about being curious about what should I say to myself, like, hey, You know what's that question I need to ask.

Cassandra Juniphant: 27:55 28:53 Yeah, like who is she like who is she who's the dream woman. It's, it's, it's, you know, what does she do. How did she wake up in the morning what does she eat how does she move her body who does she talk to what is she excited about. You know, it's all of those things. It's getting curious. And I actually have a whole, like, little worksheet on that, which I can make sure I give you directions to give to your listeners. But it's, you know, tell me about her. That's literally the question that I ask you in this little worksheet. Tell me about her. Like, there's a woman that you visualize in your mind that you've been thinking about since you were a little girl. And what I think women don't understand is that she is you. It's not like this make-believe version. She exists, and she's talking to you constantly. Every time you have that pull, that call, that desire, whoever, there's a version of Deneen in Portugal right now. She's there. In some reality, she is there like, sis, we love it here. You know, this is what we're doing. Right, right.

Deneen L. Garrett: 28:54 28:55 Sorry you're not here.

Cassandra Juniphant: 28:56 31:05 Sorry, yeah. Wish you were here. But it's a matter of, who is she? What is she doing? Like, what's bridging the gap between the Deneen that's sitting where you are today and the Deneen that's in Portugal? There's distance there. So just, OK, like, tell me, ask Deneen in Portugal, what's the distance? How did we get there? Drop the location. Tell me the directions. I cannot tell you how many times I meditate daily. And when I'm meditating and I'm trying to align with that version of me who has the things that I deserve, I ask her, drop the location. I got to set the navvy to get there. Like, how do we get there? Like, tell me. Share that with me. And she does. And she does. But to answer your question, you know, like, what's that step? It's like getting really, really clear about what you want. You know, sometimes the resistance or sometimes the gap is just allowing ourselves to dream, like allowing that desire to grow on our heart. Sometimes that desire starts to grow, and then we immediately get practical. Oh, that won't work because of this, or I can't do that because of that. And we're trying to be rational and responsible and all the reasons why this beautiful dream in our heart can't live. But that's not what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to let the desires of your heart grow. And I always envision like the Grinch when his heart's growing bigger. I'm like with every beat of your heart, let it grow bigger and bigger and bigger with your passion and whatever your desire is. So maybe for you, it's like, okay, Portugal is a real thing for me. Sit with that. Meditate on that. Let your heart, like you should be able to cry. You are so damn happy about being in Portugal, but let it grow that big and let it affect your body that much. That makes it real. that will call it into you. And so, you know, it's, yeah, asking about who is she? Who's the version of me that's doing these things and how did she get there? And it's allowing yourself to dream and just have this passion that makes no damn sense to anybody. And it doesn't need, it's just, it's your dream. It's your vision for yourself. Allow yourself to have it. Because it's really hard to get into alignment with something you're not even allowing. So allow it.

Deneen L. Garrett: 31:06 32:52 I love that. I love that. And what it does too, is like I said, that's the way that I live a dream life. Like I know my what, right? You know, how, the way that I want my life to be. And like I said, there's something in between. And so that's why it's great to have these conversations. That's why, you know, those who are listening or watching, you wanna listen to these conversations. There's something for you to take away because you can think like, oh, I'm on the path. Everything is going great. And some things, you know, may not happen, and you don't really think about them, like why, you know, you're not getting curious about those things, you just take it as they are. Like I said, again, I love to travel, that's number one for me. I'm supposed to be in Portugal, I'm not. Why right, and so I need to get clear about what is keeping me from being in Portugal, like you said so it's a different way of looking at things it's a different way of considering and that's again why this conversation with Cassandra the conversation. with other women of color, black women in particular, why they're so important for you all to listen to and to hear. So I wanna, you know, we're coming down to the end. This conversation is great, because this really is for me. So I don't know who else is listening, you know, somebody, you know, I don't know, somebody that's in California, somebody that's in Ukraine, because girl, I have listeners everywhere. I love you, I love you. Y'all need this, but let's kind of, you know, talk about breaking through guilt and choosing yourself. So what's a mindset shift that helped you choose yourself without feeling selfish? I don't even know if you ever did feel that, but.

Cassandra Juniphant: 32:52 34:51 I did. Yeah, I did. I was a single mother for many years and it was challenging. The people that I love and want to do all these things for, they love me too. And I finally allowed that. It's about stepping into my feminine, actually, and receiving. And both from myself and from other people. I think you had mentioned, we're so give, give, give, go, go, go, do, do, do. And it comes from a place of love. We love our people, so we want to love them. And we want to show them that we, but they love us too. Can you receive? Can you receive? Can you receive from others? Can you receive from yourself? Are you able to turn that back onto yourself? So many of us aren't receiving the love that we want and deserve because we stubbornly will not move from the giving side of the equation. Love is give and receive, but all we want to do is give, give, give. And it's like, well, to have a loving anything, you have to be able to receive too. And so what helps me, you know, kind of tamp down on that guilt or shame or feeling bad is realizing that these people love me. Whether it's my now husband, which getting married in your mid 40s is freaking crazy because you have so many bad habits to unlearn and have to learn how to let a man love you like that's a mindfuck. And then, but you know my kids, the people that I work, they love me. They love me. They want me to be happy. They want me to be whole. They want me, especially for the mothers out there, I need you to hear me when I say you're not raising children. You're raising adults. You know what I mean? They need to see you be an adult, which is taking care of yourself, which is working a job, which is doing whatever it is, you know, following your passions. But being healthy is a part of that. Right. And so the idea that the kids get the chicken nuggets, but I'm eat the salad. I mean, again, you're raising adults. We're not raising kids. But in any case, these people love you. So you love you. Let them love you. And just receive.

Deneen L. Garrett: 34:52 35:13 And so, you know what, you just said something that that's a whole nother conversation. We probably need to schedule another time to talk about the marriage and the habits and all the things, but there's two questions that I do want to ask before we wrap. So one is, what's one belief about success or self-care that you had to unlearn to fully step into your purpose?

Cassandra Juniphant: 35:17 36:01 I had to unlearn. Yeah, I had to unlearn the doing. And it's still something that I struggle with even today even last night I should have been done with work and my husband came in and looked at me and I was like I'm, you know, firing away on my computer, but, um, as above so below. And we get stuck on the soul below. We get stuck on the, let me do the things, let me do the things, let me do the things. But the way things get done is more through energy. It's more through trust. It's more through surrender. And so learning that the world's not going to fall apart when I decide to rest. The world's not going to crumble and fall if I decide that I don't want to make time for finishing whatever that thing is. That was real. That's still something that I'm working on. Yeah.

Deneen L. Garrett: 36:01 36:07 And so the final one is if listeners take one thing away from this conversation, what should it be?

Cassandra Juniphant: 36:07 36:32 Oh, my gosh. When you have a calling on your life, you must protect it with your health. And we all have a calling as a mother, as a wife, as a CEO, as a boss, as an entrepreneur, as a best friend. And no one is asking you to be a martyr. We're always like, I die for my kids. I die for this. But it's like, sis, no one is asking you for that. You live healthy for them. But you live healthy for them. So when you have a calling on your life, you must protect it with your health.

Deneen L. Garrett: 36:32 36:55 I love that. Protect it with your health. Well, Cassandra, this has been an awesome conversation. I'm going to listen to it multiple times. So I can move through what I have going on. But I definitely appreciate you for lending your voice. to women of color in intimate conversation and enjoy the rest of your day. You too. Thank you.