Moving with Purpose: Creating Opportunities for Women of Color with Nicole Durio

Deneen L. Garrett This week's guest is Nicole Dario. She is a woman of prayer, purpose, and power. She is also a CEO and CPA with more than 25 years of experience in accounting, financial reporting, advisory services, business consulting, CFO services, and internal and external auditing. Nicole, tell us a bit more about you. 

Nicole Durio Yes, Ms. Garrett, first, thank you so much for having us join you on today. So what I'd like to say is I consider myself to be a change agent, a business advisor, and a consultant. The CPA is just my credential. And basically, I like to help organizations find solutions that allow them to be better than they were when I joined the organization. Yes, and isn't that our life goal, right? To leave the earth better than the way we found it. So love that, that you've incorporated that into your business. So talk to us about the soul searching you did after being laid off from your job as an executive director with an international public accounting firm and losing your multiple six-figure income. Absolutely, absolutely. I was all in with my professional accounting career. my goals and plans, dreams, aspirations, were to become a partner in the practice. And that's what I was working towards. But as you know, God and life had other plans. And I remember it just like it was yesterday, watching the news and the Associated Press, September 15, 2008, when Lehman Brothers went under. It was one of the top five investment banking firms in the world. And within about six weeks of that happening, my largest two clients suspended their acquisition programs. So all of a sudden I had about a $3 million book of business that went to $200,000. So I'm sitting there thinking, do I have enough time to try to recover or recuperate? And I decided in my prayer time, while tears were flowing down my eyes, God, I'm going to take my hands off the wheel. and I'm just gonna let you drive. Let's just see where this goes without my hand trying to guide it, steer it, or change it. And within two weeks, I got not a pink slip, I got a long white letter with my severance agreement and the severance compensation. And I drove home and I got into my prayer closet and I took a couple weeks. And what God shared with me is you've enhanced the wealth of a lot of big businesses. Now I want you to help individuals and not-for-profit organizations. So of course, the first thing I'm thinking is they can't pay my fees. And so I just really just went from there, started building a complete and total walk of faith. And every season it got better and better. more connections, more leads, more clients, different projects. And 15 years later, here we are. 

Deneen L. Garrett I love that. And so basically, you know, taking your hands off the wheel so often, you know, we're, we're trying to, you know, we're driving and we're going towards the things that we want. Life happens, like you said, and now you have a choice to make, like, what are you going to do? Are you going to, you know, just freak out? Are you going to just lose it, get stuck? And you did what so many of us. What's helpful for so many of us to do, and that's to say, OK, I don't know what else to do. God, like I'm not even going to try. I'm going to let you. Right. So letting God. And so what some of the emotions that you felt, right. So it looks like, you know, when you made the decision, things worked out for you. Now you're helping other people. But, you know, when you were in that, like, what were you feeling like? And again, you know, and you cope by letting God. But before you got to that point, what were some of the emotions and what are some of the things you did to cope? 

Honestly, the most prevalent or greatest emotion I felt was failure. It really was, even though there were so many circumstances beyond my control, I was just kind of replanted in my mind, like, what did you miss? What could you have done differently? How could you have avoided this? And so, you know, once I got through, I guess, interrogating myself and just running myself through the ringer, the biggest moment or the biggest lesson that I learned in that defining moment was I need to respond and not react. And what was powerful in that is normally a reaction is that initial knee jerk thing that can get us in trouble because we either go one way too much this way or too much that way. But when you respond, responding allows you to take a step back and think through your action as opposed to just being reactive. or like a time bomb. And so that really was a defining moment. And once I decided to let be what was, and to just work through it and walk through it, that walk eventually became a trot, and then a run, and now we're flying. 

Love that, I love that, let be what was, right? It is what it is, it happened, learn from it, grow from it and let's get on to the business of today. Love that, love that. So Women of Color, an intimate conversation is about empowering women of color and elevating their voices. So you believe there are no winners or losers and we all have choices. What three choices or actions can women of color take to tap into their power and voice? You know, I think the first thing is to understand what you're passionate about. Because oftentimes we have responsibilities, we have obligations, we have to pay the mortgage, we have to keep the lights on. And sometimes we can chase a dollar and not look for our passion. Because what I found is when you do those things that you're passionate about, the money will come. you'll just attract it. So I think the first thing is to understand your passion and being married to your purpose. Because when you have a purpose and a why, you don't give up as easily. It's like, I know why I'm here. I know what I was sent to do. I know who needs this product. I know who needs this service. I know why I need to be heard. And also get into a place where if you don't get invited to the table that you create your own. Because so many times we're waiting. We're waiting on that phone call. We're waiting on that lead. We're waiting on that connection. We're waiting when we really should be moving. And moving with purpose. So I don't do anything without purposeful thought and thinking, even as far as what color am I going to wear today? When I'm in a mode of prayer and fasting and thinking and big decisions, I literally wear camouflage. Whether I'm going to the grocery store, I'm walking, I'm exercising, because that sets the atmosphere and it reminds me of where I need to be, what I'm doing. When I'm wearing the color green, green is for fertility and abundance and prosperity. So, you know, I do everything intentionally. And I often tell people and even the women I've mentored, you have to live a life on purpose. Yes, because if you go through life casually, you'll become a casualty. OK. Right. If you go through life casually, you'll become a casualty. OK. Right. Right. Life would just roll over you. Right. You're still you're stuck. Life will roll over you. I like that. That's that's interest like that. So purpose, passion, your why. Always knowing your why. Right time to get to know yourself and what it is that you want out of life and to go ahead and work towards that. So we kind of what we talked about next. So often black women and other women of color do a lot or even too much. We don't always prioritize ourselves nor self care. So I recently took a pause in a way of a two month social media break, right? So you were talking earlier about, you know, getting still and being able to hear, and that's pretty much what I was doing. So talk to us more about the importance of taking time for ourselves and the power in the pause. Absolutely. So I want to break that down into a couple of different things. But the first thing I'd like to say is in 2008, June of 2008, I was introduced to a mental fast. And what that was is fasting from radio, television, social media, and just really concentrating on reading, learning, exploring, meditating, and thinking. And that was such a powerful time. I never really went back to watching television. I will watch some things now. if it's like sports related or a special or something I want to see. But for the most part, I don't do a lot of television. I don't even do a lot of social media. My PR team gets on me all the time. We got to beef up Instagram. We have to do this. We have to do that. And I'm just very old school. Well, first of all, I'm not putting my intellectual property out on social media so that someone can see it, read it and copy it and use it for for free. I will rather hold it to myself. And unless I see a just a need to do it, I'm still kind of in flux on that. So so having mental fast are very important because I think it's important to feed your mind, to feed your thoughts, to feed your ideas and really take a step back and think, because otherwise you'll become a robot. And what I mean by robot is you will take on what social media tells you. what the television tells you, what the news report tells you, and you forgot to tell yourself. Because so a man thinketh, so he is. And so when you're taking all of that in, whatever you take in the most is what's going to lead you. Yes. Yes. And so for me, one of my things is the reason why I took a step back is because with social media, it's about the algorithm. So feeding that algorithm, constantly being on, constantly producing content and responding to all of that. That takes up a lot of your time in your mental space. And so it was like, you know what? I'm going to take a break from all of that. And what you said, let it be what it was. It's pretty much how I try to you know how I approach things because when you come back, you have to start all over right as far as with the numbers and whatnot so it's really you know. Social media is a beautiful thing absolutely beautiful connection with people there's a lot of positives to it and then also there's some downsides to it as well, so we do need to take those breaks. here and there. And again, it goes back to what you said as far as being intentional, be very intentional about why you're on social media, what it is that you're trying to accomplish. And when you know that you're why, then it's not necessarily as daunting and or again, building those breaks. So I honor my late sister. I also want to show a couple other things. One is that as a woman of color or woman, period, it's important to have vision. What I see many people and women do is they'll see one individual make it one way on social media. Let's just say it's selling widgets. Well, I've got some new widgets to sell widgets. So we become copycats and there's no authenticity. Yeah. So your significance is always going to be in your difference. And then you have to be that visionary. And the visionary is the one who had the capacity to see it first. I love that significance in your difference. Yes. It's not how you're the same. It's how you're different. Absolutely. Right. And so that's going to a whole different, you know, other conversations that I've had being, having, um, background in diversity and inclusion, you know, and that is, that is a superpower. Your difference is your superpower. So once you embrace that, tap into that, that, that's what makes you stand out, right? So absolutely that, right? And so we need to keep that in mind when we are on social media, when we are doing that things. And again, it goes back to that why and that intentionality. Yes. So I honor my late sister, author and poet, Soul True, by asking about Dreams Deferred, the title of one of her books. Please share a Dreams Deferred moment. Actually, I have a couple. One was in the late 90s, early in my career. I had been a CPA maybe one or two years, and I had an invitation to go on offer an opportunity to go work for one of the big investment banking firms on Wall Street. But at the time, because I was so young and in my 20s and what I had heard about New York, just frightened me. Like, there's no way I'm going to be able to make it on $102,000 in New York. not even taking a step back and saying, well, I won't need a car. I can live close to work. I can walk in some way like I did not even analyze the offer. It was just kind of like thought about it for a day and a half and not going to do it. Didn't approach my parents or anything. And so I often think about, man, how would life be different or look different for me had I capitalized on that opportunity? Another one is, I had an opportunity when I was working in the international accounting firm industry to do a rotation, an international rotation, or to go overseas for three years. And I could have gone to somewhere in Europe, Asia or South America. And again, I thought about going to South America to do a Spanish immersion, to learn a second language. But again, fear. I can't do it. I don't want to be in a place where I don't understand. I don't know if you've ever been in a room or on a call with people who are bilingual or multilingual, and the conversation goes in and out from English to that other language, because I don't know what they're saying. Are they saying something for me or against me? And I just did not trust the environment I would have been in to take that chance. So those were the two of the dreams deferred. And I don't know that I'll ever get back to them. I think I've lost an interest for Spanish, but we'll see if it comes around again. Yeah, and I was going to ask, do you even have a desire for them, right? Because sometimes we have dreams, right? And at that moment, it's something that we want. And then later, as we grow, as we evolve, our interests change. And we don't necessarily even want that thing that we thought we wanted. I actually do still have an interest because I encounter someone who's Spanish speaking every day. If I leave my home, I'm going to encounter someone Spanish speaking. And I don't ever want my dialect or language to be a barrier for a connection or relationship or an opportunity. So it's certainly at the back of my mind, but if I had to prioritize it, it may or may not ever get on the list. And so that's key to point out, right? Prioritizing it, where it falls on your priority list. So it is something, you know, it was a dreams deferred because you have an opportunity to travel abroad, Spanish speaking country. You didn't for fear. Right. And now today, you still have an interest in learning that language. However, it's not high on a priority. So it's OK for us. So those that are listening, it's OK to have those dreams. It's OK that those dreams may have been delayed, deferred. And it's also OK if you change your mind. Right. And then also think about when you're deciding, OK, yeah, I still want to do it. Where is it? You know, where is it on your list of priorities? And as far as my experience with what you just said, 20, 30 plus years ago, I was on a bus in Cancun and had paid what I thought was the correct amount for the fare. And the bus driver was speaking to me fully in Spanish. Of course, I had no idea what he was saying. And it appeared that I was kind of short on what I owed. And so then I kind of vowed, like, I'm going to learn Spanish because when I come back next year, I don't want to be in that situation again. And so it's 20, 30 plus years later, and I am still learning. It's a progress. So I use Duolingo, and I actually am using Duolingo for Spanish as well as French. And so when I do go to those Spanish-speaking and French-speaking countries, I do try to at least initiate the conversation. And then, which what I found is that when I'm in, we'll say, Latin American, Spanish speaking, that they'll speak back, right? When I was in Montreal, speaking French, they spoke right back in English, because they're like, girl, you don't speak French, like we know. And we ain't got time to try to work it out with you. So that's my experience and my observations. So I empower women of color to live a dream lifestyle. What is a dream lifestyle to you? And how are you living a dream life? You know, I tell everyone the dream life for me is creating a life you never need to vacation from. Yes. And so I really am at a point where I do live and work on my own terms. defining what types of projects I want to do, what types of clients I want to interact with, where I want to go, when I want to work. And it is absolutely amazing. And what I found, too, is because I don't work full time, I can work longer. So I always say I'll be 50 next year. I always say I'm going to work till I'm 80. And people laugh. I say, oh, no, no, no. But that's not full time. That's on my own terms, because what I understand is that there's a very limited pipeline of accountants coming through. So when you take the pipe of accounting majors that are coming through, and then you wanna figure out who's gonna be converted to a CPA, that number's even smaller. So when the classes who come before me, when they retire and expire, I'm gonna still be kicking, and I'll be able to command whatever rate I want. And so I'm just looking forward to the day when the accounting field is even more limited and we can do even more and greater and better things to impact the world. Awesome, awesome. So before we wrap, what would you like to leave the guests with? I just like for everyone in the audience, everyone who's listening to know and understand the best way to live is forward, fast forward, move forward. There is a reason that the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror. It's because what's ahead of you is so much more than what's behind you. I think sometimes we as individuals can get caught trying to correct and rectify and fix mistakes. And all we need to do is allow those mistakes to teach us how to make better decisions. Love that. Absolutely agree. Nicole Durio, thank you so much for lending your voice on women of color and intimate conversation and enjoy the rest of your day. Likewise, you too. Have a good day. Thank you.