Swell AI Transcript: Ty Robbins.mp4

SPEAKER_00:
Hello, hello, everybody. And I'll say welcome back to me, because it's been a minute. It's been a while. And we're going to do something a little differently today. So today is Women of Color and Intimate Conversation, the kickback. And today's guest is so appropriate for two reasons. One, some of you know that I created this platform as a panel. So it actually was a panel for an LGBTQ plus conference that I attended in my previous work role. And so I had created the panel to provide LGBTQ plus women of color and allies a platform to use their voices. So when Ty reached out and said, hey, I have this book, We'd like you to check it out. We'd like to be on your podcast. Ty actually brought me back in to the podcasting, video podcasting space because I've been on a break since I think like April and didn't have any intentions of coming back. Didn't have a date in mind. And so when Ty reached out, I read the book. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. And I'm like, you know what, yes. Time to come back and Ty's episode will be the first episode. Again, it's so appropriate because this podcast started as a panel for the LGBTQ plus community. And so again, when Ty reached out, I'm like, okay, yes, let's go ahead and do this. And also October is LGBTQ plus history month. So I remembered that this morning. So anyway, let's get into Ty. Ty Robbins is a native New Yorker with an MBA in business management from CUNY colleges and has been an out and proud member of the LGBTQIA community for 28 years. Ty is also the author of The Color of Honey, which is the book that I was referencing. Ty, tell us a little bit more about you. Oh, first I'd like to say hi and hi to the viewers out there. Thank you so much, Deneen, for having me on this podcast, The Women of Color and Intimate Conversation. This is amazing. A little about me. Well, you mentioned already, I'm a native New Yorker. born and raised in Spanish Harlem. I think they're calling it East Harlem now, but it's Spanish Harlem. I'm in my late forties. I currently live in West Chester with my fiance and I was raised by three really strong women, my mother, my grandmother, and my aunt. And I used to volunteer with the Ali Forney Center. It's an organization that houses homeless LGBT youth. I was a life coach there for three years, and that was wonderful, really. But COVID hit, and then I ended up just kind of cooling my heels with that after. So I jumped into writing a book, and here we are. Here we are, indeed. And like I said, I really enjoyed the book. I really didn't want it to end. So I was like, oh, man, this is the last story, darn it. Oh, well, that that is wonderful to hear. Thank you very much. I really appreciate that. Absolutely. And so in the show notes, I would definitely have a link for people to be able to purchase a copy or on Kindle because I read it on Kindle. So thank you so much for that. So you did mention Spanish Harlem, right? East Harlem. Yes. What I know of Spanish Harlem, and actually it's part of the name, but that's a predominantly Hispanic Latino area, right? It is. Okay. I'm sorry. I said it still is, you know, gentrification and things are changing, but it still is. Yes. Okay. So how was that though? So is your family Hispanic, Latino, or. I do have a lot of Spanish relatives. Okay. My family is made up of every background really. So I have the whole rainbow in my family. So. But yes, I do have some Puerto Rican relatives, some Dominican relatives, so yes. OK, OK. And I'm familiar with the Black Harlem, right? And I forget the street. 125th, does 125th run the same way as Malcolm X, or do they intersect? They, well, it's called Malcolm X Boulevard. Yeah. So that's, that's on like Seventh Avenue or something. Okay. So we're going to leave it in Malcolm X. So it goes across. So 126, like Frederick Douglass, Malcolm X, it goes, it keeps going across. Okay. Perfect. Right. So, um, yeah, so I'm familiar with that area. I actually last summer, not this past summer, but last summer, I actually stayed in Harlem over there on like one 25th. And between, I think it was between Malcolm X and Frederick Douglass. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure it looks different now. It looks different over there now with the way things are changing, but it's still wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. All right. So let's get into the book. So you describe it as an intro to tantalizing stories of black lesbian romance. What was the defining moment that led you to write the book? I know you mentioned how you had volunteered with homeless youth, LGBTQ plus homeless youth, and then COVID, and then you started riding boat. What happened for you to say, I'm about to do this right now? Well, over the years, over many, many years, many years, I've always read short stories, just lesbian short stories, and I just found it so difficult to find stories that were about black lesbians. I just thought it was so strange because I know black lesbians were everywhere. So why are there no stories about us? There are some, a lot of them are erotica or just depicting us in a light that I didn't particularly care for. So I decided if I can't find it, then I should write it. Yes, right. build it and they will come. Now I'm definitely with you on that, right? We have to, if it doesn't create, then that's the indication for you to create it. Or if you have the idea, get with somebody else who is the executioner, but it's an indication that you somehow need to make this thing happen, whatever that thing is. So I definitely do appreciate the book. And then, so who would you say ideally the stories are for? The stories are for everyone. right? Because I think that everyone has experienced the emotions that go through this book, the experiences that the characters have. I don't know anybody who's never experienced something like that, right? You felt love, you felt desire, you felt afraid to talk to somebody, you felt Like, okay, one day I'm just going to be strong and talk to this person and say, hello, you have all of these emotions that you feel. So everyone has been down that road, female, male, whoever is reading, I think they can identify with the emotions in the book. I definitely agree with you. Yeah, no, I definitely agree with you. And so when I first started reading, I didn't realize that it was stories. And so I did appreciate that, right, because I got to get an insight into different, you know, different situations and how they started off. And so it definitely was, it was an enjoyable experience reading those. So which one closely resembles your life? Well, are you like a piece in everyone? I actually am. I think I'm in 90% of the book, right, but in different stages of my life. a younger version of me might be in Lucky Brick, you know, and older version of me or closer to where I am now might be in Lady de Jour, because that's a story about older women. Yeah, there I am all through that book in various ways, various stages of tie. So the book represents me and stories I've experienced, things I've experienced, things I've read about, things I've heard about, witnessed. There are a lot of moments where I'm mixed in there. Yeah, no, definitely. And I was thinking about that. I'm like, I think it's a piece of tie in each story. So you're right. And definitely people that she knows. So let me ask. So, you know, I don't remember the name of each one, but lady does your is that the one with the woman who to me it was kind of like the older woman and playing a games like the person like kind of chase after her, or is lady does your the one with the woman who was in college, or totally different person, totally different. So, the woman who was 20 years older than the other person and she was kind of chasing her. That's can I have you and Lady du jour is Ella and blue where the woman is a night like a nightclub jazz singer. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Okay, that that's Lady du jour. OK, so tell me about was that the last one? Yes. OK. Yes. OK. So tell me who was the one that tell me about the character of the one that the person had to chase after. It was the age difference, as you mentioned. And then, I mean, they kept coming back to each other. But what was that all about? Well, Those are very real events, right? And so when a lot of lesbians travel in the same circles, and so you end up seeing people over and over again at parties, at get togethers, you have the same friends and somebody may show up at an event that you didn't realize they were gonna show up to. And so several times, those two characters bump into each other and they have a spark and even though they pull away from each other there's something there between the two of them and that spark just ignites the minute they see each other every time they see each other you know and one person is maybe easier to pull away because they're used to pulling away. And one person is not so good with pulling away. So they just keep, keep coming back to each other, you know? Yeah. Also the flame. The stories, as you mentioned, you know their stories of representative of the life that you live right so whether it's you your friends. Somebody you know right as representative of the story, would you say that all of those stories are like really. If somebody wanted to know what is what is it what is black lesbian romance like your book is it. Yes, I won't say that's it. Oh, because there's so many other aspects of black lesbian romance, right. But many of those experiences happen in real life. The book is really supposed to let the reader feel like oh my goodness that happened to me and my wife you know or something like that when you're reading it you want to feel that this is real yeah it's not so out of touch where you read these stories in other books and it's like really you were you were hiking in the hills of hawaii with you know yeah not likely but okay it's like wow that's amazing but right right right This book is New York City and you were walking, you know, on the highway. Right. Exactly. Yes. In your Tim's on the West Side Highway, you know, somebody almost killed you with a scooter, you know, that kind of thing. Look, or bumped into you with the bumpers, the cars. Right. You know, it's like bumper cars where you actually taking a from an amusement park, the ride, like in the streets, because folks got these bumper. Right. And they're on the e-scooters everywhere and they're in the streets and on the sidewalks with these things. And so one of the stories has somebody with the e-scooter almost killing a bunch of people on the West Side Highway. So, you know, real things happen right then and so I that's what I want the reader to feel like they're there and they're reading this because that happened to them last week you know something like that. Is there a book too? I'm I have a million stories so I have to really think about it. People have asked me, what happened to so-and-so in the book? Are you going to continue on? And I don't think I'm going to continue on with those exact characters. I wanted to kind of, that book to be first encounters, but I think there will be a book too. I'm just not exactly sure where I'm going with it yet, but I do believe there will be a second book. Yes. Yeah, no, I think so, and then just like you said you have millions of stories in there are like millions of different examples of relationships situationships and first times and and for you know black lesbians to see themselves. I'm looking, you know, looking forward to, so I'm rooting you on for a book too. Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I never, I don't think I told you, but I'm an introvert. And so sitting here and talking with you is a little difficult for me, but you're helping me pull myself out of, out of the box and stretch across to people, reach out and grab someone. That's what it's all about. And here's the deal too. I'm an introvert myself, but yeah, I don't present as an introvert. No, you don't. I know. I know people like, girl, no, no, you're not. Yeah, I am. I mean, it's because, you know, introversion is about how do you recharge for me? Recharging is I'm at home by myself. Okay. Yes. So, I mean, that's really, that's a lot of what it's about. Um, it's how you recharge and let's say I'm going to an event. The event is nine to five, five Oh one. It's a wrap. Yes. Now I'm working through it. I haven't always been, you know, shy is words. And I think you're probably thinking, you know, would describe yourself as being shy. And that's definitely something that I've used about myself. But I think it definitely all ties in with the introversion is because people drain us. That's what it is. Like you have a bad, and it's not, it's not a personal thing. It just is what it is. And so you start with a full battery and then the more you interact, The smaller it goes, I am definitely not shy. So I would never classify myself as that, but I definitely am an introvert. So I love people and kind people and really nice people gravitate towards me. And I love that, but. I may love them very much, but sometimes I have to go sit in a room somewhere in the quiet and recharge and then come back out and mix with, you know, with the people again. So absolutely. And I had to tell, so I was on a trip with a group of folks and I let them know that, Hey, just so y'all know, I am an introvert, which means I need to, you know, dip off and recharge and I may dip off and not tell you. Just to let you know, however, is something I need to work on because I do need to communicate that. So I felt really good that I told the people and I surprised myself the whole weekend we were together. No introversion kicked in. Oh, that's wonderful. I know, right? You can't disappear now because you go to some place and they think you're kidnapped. You can't just disappear. I know. I know. I know. I know. So that's why I said I need to communicate this because I'm getting to know this about myself. And so now I need to let other people know that here's the situation. It's not personal. It is what it is. It's just me needing to do things for myself. Well, that's wonderful. Yeah. All right. Well, that's kind of, again, I love the book. So thank you so much for writing. And thank you for reaching out. Again, we'll have a link so that you all can order in the show notes. So let's get into some things that interest you. So like when you're not writing, you love music. So how do we feel about Frankie Beverly and Maze? You know, I was very sad to hear that Frankie passed. I've gone to maybe five of his concerts. My mother started taking me to see Frankie Beverly when I was a teenager. So I love that man. That's uncle Frank right there. So it's, it's very sad, but I love his music. We all one is my favorite song. So that plays in this house at least once a week. And, um, I love him. I love all the people in his in his time frame right the 80s, the 70s did he's not really a 90s, but you know he's he's one of the greats and many, many others like it. So, yeah. All right. You are right with me because the Frankie. My favorite. Before I Let Go is my favorite song. And I was introduced to him in eighth grade. So here I am in eighth grade listening to his albums. And it's like ever since, right? Because I mean, I know I'm only like 23, but so I've been listening to him for a long time. Right. Okay, travel, where is the most, no, you know what, let's tie it into, okay, let's do this. If you were to write a black lesbian romance and included a travel chapter, at least, what do you think it would look like? Based on a past travel experience? Well, I think, I haven't made it to Europe yet. That's on my list, right? I think that my favorite travel location so far out of all the islands and things that I've gone to is Aruba still, out of all the other countries I've dropped into, Aruba is my favorite. I think I would do something where there's a whole scene playing out in Aruba because I've been all over that island. Just every nook and cranny of that place I've been to, I think, at this point. So I would probably do that because I'm so familiar with the place. So it would probably be there. But I would like to go to Paris for the research. add that to my next book as well. Okay. Okay. Well, you know what? And then so, all right, culinary art. So do you cook? Yes. Okay. So let's, so give us, right now, I'm going to put you on, look, I'm going to pull you out your shell a little bit more, put you on the spot. You're writing your chapter. It's in Aruba and it's around cooking. So as one of the main characters, like a cook, a black Aruban cook, And then the woman walks into the restaurant. Like I want to meet the chef. Right. That kind of thing. This is your book, but I'm like throwing you some nuggets. Yeah, I see that you might be writing the next. So I'm just putting it out there now. You got it. That could totally happen. Right. So. I probably would put a scene where two people, two women are cooking together. Oh, okay. That is wonderful. And it's a, it's a sexy experience where you can cook together and taste the food and, you know, somebody's holding a piece of chicken that they just sauteed and they want the other person to taste it and get a little, I don't know, slip of the tongue on a finger or something, you know, that little moment. Right. So I think that that could definitely happen in Aruba in the next book that as you mentioned. Right. Right. All right. Yeah. So we're adding We're egging Ty on, we want to see that book too. And then, I mean, maybe all of it could even be about different travel experiences, right? Around your interests. So around music, of course, you got, cause now when you went to Aruba, was it for the Soul Beach Music Festival or just? No, it was never for the festivals that they have there, which I probably should have done, but I didn't. It's too late now. They canceled the contract. Yeah. Um, but. I guess I missed it, but no, at the time, that's not what I was thinking, but I used to just go to get away. You know, it's just one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. So I just go there for relaxation, really. Okay. All right. Well, I see the next book is going to be around, but there's going to be a music festival. So maybe I'm one of them. You go on to a music festival, right? So that's tying into travel. It might even be, you know, a retreat around cooking. And then I know you're into plants. So you're a plant mom? I am. In my house right now, I think we have 52 plants in here, maybe more than that, because there's a few on the balcony. So I love plants. I just think they're beautiful. They're breathing life. It's amazing when you can raise a plant from a seed all the way to maturity, I guess it should say I have the grandmother and the great grandmother of a plant in here and they're, they're in here. We call them the point of sisters because they're so their ferns and they have all that hair. So we call them the point of sisters. So I love that. You know, so yes, I love the plants. And you know what, right now we have our virtual background, but I did intend not to have the background and I was going to show like my plants or whatever. So we're probably like, You know, neck to neck. And as far as number of plants. But here's what's funny. I love pathos. Now, I didn't use to like them, you know, because I call them like a spider, because it's like, wherever you went, it was always that long line that wrapped around his house. And I hated that thing. But I love them now. Because you know what, they're like the easiest thing to propagate. Right. Like you said, you have mama, you know, grandma, mama, baby and all that. That's the same thing with the with the pathos, because I have gifted a couple and and then also several around the house. And those are so easy to to grow. Right. Yes. I'm with you on that. So what are all things colorful? What's that? Art. OK. Art, music, you know, graffiti on the walls. You know, when they paint the streets sometime and they put the colors on the street for rainbow, you know, rainbow crosswalks on the street for gay pride, things of that nature. All things colorful. Anything that I see that's colorful, birds, I just stop and admire, take pictures. I have all pictures in my phone random plants on the street, right? Just if it happens to be a pretty pink or pretty color, I'm just in the I'm out there in the world taking pictures and noticing all the little colorful things that are around this beautiful city, you know, so I, I love it. So all things colorful. So when's the last time you've been to the Whitney Museum? It has been a while actually there was an exhibit there recently and I can't remember the name I wanted to go. One of the ERG groups that I'm in at work was going there, and I couldn't go because I was going to Bermuda, so I couldn't go, but it. It's a nice museum, and it's been a couple of years since I've been there, actually. OK, so the Edge of Ailey is going on right now. So Alvin Ailey, that's going on right now. I think it's going on through February. The reason why I mention it is because when you walk up, there is a huge, it's, so I know you have that, the planter, where, you know, where the stands, where you connect the stands together. I'm sure you have that, right? I don't have the one where you connect together. Okay, well, so they have that right and I get it on Amazon, but they have that where you can connect them together. So at the Whitney, it looks like they have like a huge one. It's like 20 feet tall and 20 wide full of plants. Oh, so of course, I took a picture of it and I am in a Facebook group. So it's like black women love plants or something like that. And of course, I had to post it in there. So yes, like you, when I see different plants and different things, I'm taking pictures of it because it grabs my attention. And I do love plants. And when I travel to islands or whatever, I'm like, oh, OK, let me look for that plant when I get home. So definitely know what you're talking about. Right. I mean, the world is beautiful. And if you don't take those moments to just admire something really beautiful, I think you're doing yourself a disservice. Absolutely. Life is too hard. You have to stop and enjoy those little moments. Absolutely. I was moderating a panel on Saturday. So I live in Detroit. So downtown Detroit is where we were, and we're facing the river which faces Canada, so Windsor, Ontario. And we were talking, and it was a panel about you know, having a seat at the table. And so someone started kind of talking about like, you know, taking care of yourself, health and wealth and all that. And I said to them, I said, you know, when this panel is over, go outside. Like at some point, go outside, just sit still, look at the water, look over at Canada, but take time to get away because life is hard. Things are, you know, thrown at you and whatnot. And we need to be intentional to go ahead and pause and take time for ourselves. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. So in our last few minutes, like I said, to those who are watching or listening, this is a kickback, right? So it's a little bit different than what you all may be used to. Really wanted to be very conversational and just talking, you know, just having a conversation with Todd. Now, the title of this is The Beautiful Tales of Black Lesbian Romance, which is what we talked a lot about in the very beginning. Let me ask this. What character was missing? Like, who, what character did you fight with, like, go back and forth, like, dang, you know, I really want this character or this particular story in here, but I can only do 10, so sorry, you missed a cut. I have… Actually, I struggled with a couple of stories that are in the book. because I wasn't sure if I wanted to add them. So there's something, a story called The New Assistant Director, and those characters are Alex and Darwa, and- And they went to college. Yes. So that story's a little different, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to add that one in there because there's like a little fight scene later on, like, you know, a little argumentative scene. And so I was, you know, not sure that I wanted to put that in there, but It's real life. It's real life. And so I put it in there. I'm not sure if anything didn't make the cut. I wanted to stop the book at 10 just because this is my first shot at it. And I didn't want to do too much. I was afraid to put too much and not enough. So I thought 10 was just the number to stop at. And maybe the next book will be 12 or 15. It was definitely a good amount of, like I said, you have me like, dang, you know, I want more. So you know what I'm saying? So I'm sure I'm not the only one. And other people, you know, probably like, OK, we can't wait for the next book to come out and just really learn more about Black lesbian romance. Because as you said, you know, you were reading about lesbian romance, but you didn't necessarily see yourself as a Black lesbian in those particular stories. And when you were talking about that, what came to mind for me was like, I think it's the L word. You know, I was wondering about that. And then it was something else that I was thinking about, too. But, you know, just wondering, you know, did you see yourself in the L word at all? Not at all. Not at all. And I liked the show, but once again, I didn't see myself there. I didn't see, even though I think there was one that was, one of the main characters is like half black. And then, you know, they had brought in someone else later on in the seasons that was black. Somebody was dating someone who was black, but it just didn't feel real to me. It wasn't enough. Yeah. Right. Because we exist out there. And it just wasn't enough. Now, what about Harlem? Because and when I'm in so Harlem, I think there's a character. Her name is Ty as well, if I'm not mistaken. And she is a lesbian. And so I'm bringing up Harlem because it's three or four friends or used to be four. Now it's just three. But one is a lesbian, the rest are heterosexual. Is that common or is it more common really? Because you mentioned community and people in the same circles. Is it more common, at least in your experience, that the Black lesbians that you know, you all stick together? Is it also common maybe that there is a situation where you might have black lesbian friend and then our friends, the other friends are heterosexual. I think there's a mix. There's a, there's a bit of a mix. I wouldn't say that. the, the black lesbians that I hang out with that we all stick together. All of us have our own set of friends and then we come together as well. Okay. Some of those friends are straight, you know, some of those friends are guys, some of those, you know, there's a, there's some are trans, there's a, there's a mix of everything. It just, I guess it really just depends on the type of person you are. Yeah. I'm a little bit on the mature end of the lesbian world now. Right. So maybe my group of friends might be different from the next younger generation's group of friends and how they, you know, communicate with people. So. Yeah. And I actually ask that because thinking about the L word, because it was pretty much they all were. Together, you know what I'm saying? It was like, and everybody else was outsiders. So that's kind of like where that question came from. Okay. Well, before we wrap, what would you like to leave the audience with? What would you like to share? Any final thoughts? I do have a final thought. I just wanted to tell the readers that if they choose to read the book, I think they will find something interesting in there, something exciting in there, something sexy in there, maybe even just a good music choice or a nice dinner to make for someone. I think there's a little bit of something in there for everyone. And so I hope that people read it and enjoy it. And I hope to hear all about it. People leave me reviews. That would be wonderful. And I just hope whoever reads it, enjoys it. It's also free on Kindle Unlimited right now. So it's out in the world for people to read. Awesome. Awesome. I appreciate it. So Ty Robbins, as I said, I will include the link. So the name of the book is The Color of Honey. So for those who are watching or listening, You want to jump on it right away. It's called The Color of Honey. It is out on Amazon, as Ty just said. If you have Kindle Unlimited, it's free through that. But it is a good read. And it does introduce you to a world that you may not be familiar with, a world that you may have some assumptions about. It's, you know, it's a representation of Ty and people that, you know, she knows, right? None of us are monoliths, right? So it doesn't speak to everybody, you know, like, oh, okay, this, you know, like I asked earlier, you know, that's her experience, right? And so that will give you insight. And then we are going to wait and wish for book two. And like I said, I'm throwing it out there like this. I see that, I see that. Travel and cooking and all those good things. So I have really enjoyed speaking with you and so glad that I was able to bring you a bit out of your shell, as you mentioned. You're pulling me, you're pulling me, yes. And you're like, but I thank you so very much. So Ty Robbins, thank you so much for lending your voice on women of color. an intimate conversation, and enjoy the rest of your day. Thank you for having me. Thank you. You too. Take care.