AMBITION IN LIFE: The Power of Ambition and and Finding Fulfillment: Insights from Bianca B. King

Deneen L. Garrett: 00:02 00:11 Hello, this week's guest is CEO and founder of Pretty Damn Ambitious, Bianca B. King. Bianca, tell us more about you.
Bianca B. King: 00:12 01:16 Oh, well, one, thank you for having me. So great to be here. So me, oh, that's a lot. So yes, as you said, I'm the founder and CEO of Pretty Damn Ambitious. I am also the president and creative director of 7573 Marketing Group, is a digital marketing agency that I started over 15 years ago, right during the Great Recession. But I think today we're here to talk about pretty damn ambitious and essentially pretty damn ambitious is a collective that I created during the pandemic to help women find really good vetted and verified coaches I think we've all been through the instance of, you know, we find a coach, we think they're good, but they're not quite as good as they look on paper. So I really wanted to make sure that we had a way to really ensure that we're getting connected with the people who can actually help us. And with that, I also created a community around that as well. So it's community, it's coaching, and it's career development, right? Making sure that you have the tools, training, and resources in order to really help your entrepreneurial journey.

Deneen L. Garrett: 01:16 01:36 Awesome. Thank you so much for that. And so, yeah, we're here to talk about pretty much whatever fits, right, whatever fits the conversation. But I did want to mention that you promote adding our ambition to the rate and review list. Tell us about this. And is this what led to you becoming known as the ambition lady?

Bianca B. King: 01:38 03:06 Yeah. So, um, I, I'm not sure if it's, it's why I've been known as the ambition lady. I'm not sure if I'm actually known by as that at this point, but I always had this thing in my life and it just didn't quite know what the word was. Right. It wasn't until my forties until I like, Oh, well, that's just ambition. Like I had this desire, this drive to succeed and not succeed at any cost. Right. Um, when I'm, when I'm trying to do is make sure that people understand that this is a new version, redefined version of ambition, and that is the joyful, diligent pursuit of success informed by one's ideals, if I can get it out. So what does that mean? That means you get to choose the way you deploy ambition in order for you to reach success, success on your terms, whatever that may be. So your success could look like, you know, you just want to be a great mom and raise amazing humans, or it could be that you want to get to the C-suite, right? So reviewing your ambition, that is something that you need to take stock of. Is your ambition pulling you or is it pushing you? If your ambition is pushing you, then you're probably doing it wrong. Your ambition should be something that is a driver in the sense it's pulling you towards the gift, the purpose, whatever that God put you on this earth for, right? It's not something that's being burdensome and hard and heavy. And that's why I say you need to review your ambition because If it's not aligned with your core values and what you're trying to do in the world and in life, then you need to figure out something else.

Deneen L. Garrett: 03:06 03:16 I love that. So, but in essence, if it's not joyful, right, if you're not living joyfully while you're pursuing it, then you need to make some changes. You need to review your list.

Bianca B. King: 03:16 04:00 Yes, exactly. Yeah. And that's part of why when I redefine ambition, the joyful, diligent pursuit of success informed by one's ideals, I get it out this time. I wanted to make sure that I included joy because a lot of times I think that we initially think ambition is this thing that you have to sacrifice and you have to you know, step over people and do all these things. And it's not, right? If you look at the Webster's Dictionary term and definition, it just means the desire to succeed, right? And so ambition is just like a dressed up word for that. But along with that, when we do have that desire to succeed, why not include some joy in it? Why not make sure that we're celebrating those small milestones as well as the big things, and just making sure that we really are happy in whatever pursuits that we're doing.

Deneen L. Garrett: 04:01 05:22 Oh, no, I definitely agree. For me, there has been a focus around joy as opposed to happiness, right? Because there is a difference between the two. And so for me, I say that if it's not bringing you joy, then move on from it. I feel the same way. To use your words, review your list. There's something else out there for you that you should definitely pursue. And so when you were talking about you didn't know what it was. It was, you know, later you found out and realized that it was ambition. But I was thinking about a conversation I had yesterday. So I was in a meeting and they were playing a video of a little girl and a little girl, you know, to use terms that we would have used years ago. And people still do, you know, sassy, right? She was grown and those things. And so what I said, because language is important, I said, oh, she's a boss. She's a CEO. She's a leader. Right. So again, when you said you didn't know what it was, you know, at the time, um, it just made me think of that. The language is definitely important for us to call those things that right. Because so many people put those negative labels on us. And for me, I wanted to reframe it for that little girl who she didn't hear, she wasn't hearing me, but still amongst the people with just reframe language around them.

Bianca B. King: 05:22 05:57 No, I, I love that. Um, I have someone in my family that is a young person and they were very inquisitive about money. And someone said, oh, they're just money hungry. I'm like, no, they're curious about finance. Like they want to know how this monetary system works. What's wrong with that? So I absolutely agree. Like we need to make sure that we are being very positive with our children and, you know, anyone that we interact when we're, we're, we're speaking to them about some of those things, because otherwise it's just, it's just, you're just perpetuating that negativity and we don't need to do that.

Deneen L. Garrett: 05:57 06:56 Absolutely, absolutely. And then the money thing is like, look, even as adults, we're still trying to figure it out. So kudos for that young person for asking those questions, because we're not taught that, right. And you know, it's kind of like going down a different lane, but we're not taught that especially as black folks, we don't have that in our families, we don't really have those conversations. I applaud that person for asking the questions, because she or he will be further along than us. Then probably those people who made the comments, right? Yeah. They're getting that information. They're open to it and they want to learn more. Indeed. Yeah. Yeah. So this podcast is about elevating the voices of women of color. And so thinking about the strategies that you use and the tools that you provide your coaching clients and what three ways can the rate and review lists empower women of color to tap into their power and voice.

Bianca B. King: 06:56 07:09 Okay. Yeah. So one, I'm not a coach. I am a coach matchmaker, right? So I have like these amazing coaches that I work with and then I have members and then I bring the two together. So I am not a coach, even though a lot of people are like, no, you're a coach.

Deneen L. Garrett: 07:09 07:09 I'm a mentor.

Bianca B. King: 07:09 08:38 Let's just put it that way. Um, so what I always want women of color to, to know, especially black women, cause I am a black woman, obviously I want them to know that one, it's okay to dream really big. Like I think a lot of us just, we temper our expectations. We've been told it's unrealistic and all this other stuff, but it's like, how in the world did we get to where we are, especially here in America, if we didn't have someone way back in those other generations dreaming big for us, right? So that's the first thing. The second thing is really make sure that you are taking time to really think through what you want and that it's truly aligned with your core values. If you're not taking that time, if you're just, you know, shiny object syndrome, I see that a lot with entrepreneurs, right? Really take the time to understand, okay, is this going to work for me now? And in the long run and five years from now, do I want this thing to exist? Do, do I want to be working on it? You know, so thinking, thinking really through. how you want to create something is absolutely key. And the last thing I would say is rest. We need more rest than everybody thinks. And me being closer to 50 than I am 40 these days, I'm such an advocate of rest. You've got to get the rest. Because if you can't show up, rested and ready to go. How are you going to show up for everybody else? I mean, you've got to do it for yourself in order to be, you know, a good example, as well as show up really well in the world for everyone else. If you're, you know, being rested.

Deneen L. Garrett: 08:38 08:42 Absolutely. Like they say on a plane, put your mask on first. Indeed. Right.

Bianca B. King: 08:42 09:09 And we tend, and we tend not to do that. Right. Again, you know, we have been taught, you know, by our mothers and our parents and everyone's like, no, we're going to sacrifice everything and everybody else can have it. And we're just over here with like, you know, the smallest little piece of whatever. Right. Um, but no, it's, it's high time for us to change that. We have to remember, we are just as important as the others, possibly more so because we're probably the ones that are keeping everything together.

Deneen L. Garrett: 09:09 09:27 Correct. Correct, correct. And you know what, you're definitely, you know, singing my tune, and we're going to get into it a little bit more. But I want to just mention, so you just said about in five years, how important is that thing going to be? And it reminds me of a conversation that I had with Arlen Hamilton.

Bianca B. King: 09:27 09:27 Oh, I love her.

Deneen L. Garrett: 09:28 10:32 Yes, yes. And she is the bomb. And so this was, I had the conversation with her after her first book. And what was that? It's about damn time. So what she said, and she was talking about very similar to what you just said is, if that thing If you can see that thing in five years, if that thing matters in five years, then you need to do it. It had to exist. And that's kind of like what we were talking about. And I've heard her say it had to exist when she's talking about her venture capital business and whatnot. And I've heard her said in her podcast, what is it, Your First Million. And so that is very important. You have to think about if you're wanting something today, Are you going to want that thing in five years? You know, are you going to want that thing in five months? You know what I'm saying? You have to really put some things in to perspective as to what energy you're going to give it. Now, some things, you know, it is OK to, you know, have that like instant thing, but you have to think about the relevance of it. Right. Indeed. Yeah.

Bianca B. King: 10:32 11:24 I mean, that intentionality is everything, you know, really just. You know, again like I'm saying just making sure that you really want this thing because we put so much time and effort into everything that we do and from my perspective, we as black men we are exceptional, and we show up in such exceptional ways and why waste your time if it's not going to be something that you want again it's not about you know, the monetary gain or the accolades, it's really about how is that really going to be fulfilling within your life, right? And if you need and want that thing to be there in five years, then you absolutely have to go and pursue it. I'm probably quoting her book. That's part of one of my favorite books. It's about damn time. That's why damn is in pretty damn ambitious. It was because I was reading the book around the time that I was thinking about creating this business. And I was like, ooh, let's add DAMN in there. Pretty ambitious, yeah, but pretty damn ambitious, yeah. They'll let people sit up and take notice.

Deneen L. Garrett: 11:24 12:03 Absolutely, right. It'll catch our attention for sure. And so you kind of already talked about this. This, as a matter of fact, was your third step in the three steps or three ways that we can tap into our power and voice. But I want to get a little bit more into it, right? And so that's the power in the pause. We talked about we need to rest. We definitely do, because as women of color and Black women in particular, we don't always prioritize ourselves. We don't take care of ourselves. And so I feel that pausing is very important, as you feel as well. So talk to us a little bit more about the power in the pause.

Bianca B. King: 12:03 13:46 Yeah, you know, there's a thing that I feel I probably should be working on called soft ambition, right? You know, how do you make sure that your ambition is working for you, that you're not working for it, right? That you're allowing that time and space for you to dream big and for you to get the rest that you need. Power in the pause, first of all, I love that phrase. It is absolutely essential. From my perspective, the most that I get when I'm like, When I'm tired or I'm overstressed, if I rest, everything is better. And then also too, I meditate. I've been meditating since 2013. I meditate almost every single day. I think last year, my stats were like, I meditated 51 weeks in a row and I'm still going right. That pause of me just taking that 30 or 40 minutes. just sitting down first thing in the morning and meditating. I feel like that actually fuels my ambition. It's giving me that, that space, that time, that energy to pull back into myself for me to connect with, you know, my God and all the things that I'm working through. Right. Um, so I think you, you have to, even though it feels like I can't do it, I can't pause. Like, you know, we we've all been there where we feel like 1500 things are on our plate. And if we drop one, one thing, you know, the world's going to die, but it's not, it's your ego talking. Take that five minutes, literally, if you got to get in the closet, like some mothers have to do to, to escape their children, or just sit in your car an extra five minutes and be five minutes late somewhere that, you know, you're, you're going, it's worth it because you really need that time in order to, you know, just really be with yourself and know that you're worth, worth that time and space for yourself.

Deneen L. Garrett: 13:47 14:45 Yeah. And, you know, I think, you know, as you were talking, I was thinking, I believe, and I bet some women probably don't pause because they're not quite sure what that looks like, you know what I'm saying? And it presents in so many different ways. You just talked about meditating. You even talked about like just being still for like five minutes, which sounds like meditating, but it's not necessarily. It's just like you said, being still. So there's so many different ways to pause. And so I think that as we talk more about those different ways, then that encourages more women to go ahead and pause because some of them probably thinks, oh, that means going to get a massage or that means meditating, you know, and those two things, whatever, they don't resonate with me or whatever the situation may be, but there's other ways to pause. And so to explore it and again, to listen and have conversations with women and ask them, well, how are you pausing? So we're adding to that.

Bianca B. King: 14:45 15:02 I agree. Like, you know, five minutes phone free. You can just, you can just close your eyes. You don't have to meditate. You don't have to pray. Just be with yourself. Just check in with her. How is she really doing? You know? Um, and it makes the most massive difference.

Deneen L. Garrett: 15:02 15:46 It really does. And you know, something that I need to practice for myself. So I, um, uh, got a massage yesterday and I had pain on the left side and my masseuse, she says is a pinched nerve. And she was like, stretch, do this and forward, backward. So those that are listening, you're missing out on me moving over here. So check us out on YouTube. But anyway, she's like, do that. And that's simple. And that doesn't even take five minutes for me to do that. But here's the deal. When I wake up, before I get out of the bed, like I sit up before I get out of the bed, that's a time that I can pause and move. Yes. So just a very simple way that we can pause. I want to explore that.

Bianca B. King: 15:46 15:50 So yeah. Yeah. Stretching, deep breathing, just sitting, just, you know, yeah. Right.

Deneen L. Garrett: 15:50 15:53 Just sit before you hop out the bed.

Bianca B. King: 15:53 15:59 Yeah. It doesn't have to be something crazy or onerous. It's just like really just, just take that moment for yourself.

Deneen L. Garrett: 15:59 16:12 Absolutely. So I'm going to pivot a bit. So I honor my late sister author and poet soul true. by asking about Dreams Deferred, which is the title of one of her books. Please share a Dreams Deferred moment.

Bianca B. King: 16:12 17:07 That's a really interesting question, Dreams Deferred. You know, I would say, I would say I'm probably my grandmother and my mother's dream, Dream Deferred. Like they were incredible women. I didn't have the best relationship with my mother. I left home when I was 13, but she had so many, Ambitions, for lack of better words. She had so many things that she wanted to do. And, you know, they're both passed away now. And I've been able to realize just, just so many things through their sacrifices, obviously. Right. I think that I'm, I'm their dream deferred. Like if I think if they could see me, they would be like, oh my God, I'm so proud of you, uh, for all that I've gone through and all that I've accomplished and all that I'm still working towards as well. So, um, that that's what I would think as far as me, I just, I don't defer my dreams. I just go after them.

Deneen L. Garrett: 17:08 17:39 No, and that's beautiful. And that, you know, takes us right into this to the next question. And also, again, you know, your three actions. Number one, dream big. So, you know, I was definitely smiling when you said that because I empower women of color to live a dream lifestyle. I love that. Yeah. And, you know, and your dream, your dream lifestyle is different. Everybody has a different way that they live live. So is a dream lifestyle to you? How do you define it? And then how are you living a dream life?

Bianca B. King: 17:39 19:26 Oh, yes. Okay. So how do I, how do I define it? I define it in, I would say fulfillment to, to us fulfillment and freedom. Yes. When I wake up, am I excited about getting out of bed and doing what I do or am I dreading it? And if I feel that excitement, then I am living within that zone of fulfillment for my perspective. And then freedom for me, because I was in corporate, I worked in commercial real estate for almost 13 years and then started my agency over 15 years ago. Having that freedom, being able to have my own time, schedule my own time, never having to really answer to anyone. having the freedom of finances because I'm making significantly more money than I was making in corporate, all of those add up to just a beautiful dream life to me. And I feel like I'm living my dream life. Can it be better in the sense of, you know, I want to buy my, you know, villa next to Oprah and Maui. Absolutely. Yes. But right now, like in the in the here and now, when I wake up and just enjoy my home and enjoy my clients, enjoy the members and people of my community, it's absolutely fantastic. And then also being able to share moments like this with with other women and especially women of color, it's like we can do this. And I think a lot of times, again, we're just. We're so put upon. And we're asked to do so much that we just literally forget about ourselves. And I just want women to remember to remember you have dreams and your dreams matter and you can make them happen. You can have the dream lifestyle.

Deneen L. Garrett: 19:26 19:33 Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you for that. So before we wrap, what would you like to leave the guests with? What would you like to talk about?

Bianca B. King: 19:34 20:30 Yeah, thank you for that. So one, this has been absolutely so fun. You've asked me questions that I haven't heard in a very long time as far as a podcast guest. The second thing would be I am having an event in March. It's called the 2024 Level Up Summit. We had one last year in February, and it was absolutely fantastic. And I would love to invite your audience to come join us. It is virtual. And I have intentionally made the passes at a massively reasonable price, given the level of speakers that we have, because I want everyone to be able to, uh, attend this and get something out of it. They can go to a level up summit, excuse me, that level up. Sorry, level up summit.co. I can't remember my own URL https://prettydamnambitious.com/level-up-summit-2024/ and learn more about our event in March.

Deneen L. Garrett: 20:31 20:35 Okay. And so tell us a little bit about it. Why should we attend?

Bianca B. King: 20:35 21:47 Yes. Okay. So the, um, theme of this year is amplify your, um, your amplify your power, influence and wealth. And essentially I know when women talk about power, it's like frantic on it's like when women talk about ambition, it's, it's, frowned upon when, when women talk about women, uh, money it's, it's frowned upon. So I want us to understand that our power, our influence and our wealth are the trifecta that can really help us do anything in life. Right. And I'm not talking about power in like this crazy way. I'm talking about your own personal power. How can you step into the best version of yourself? And then from that, your influence, you influence more people than you know, every single day, how can you be a positive influence and other people's lives in other women's life? And then also to how can we actually grow our wealth, right? Not only our monetary wealth, but just, you know, all the wealth around us, right? But we do actually are talking about monetary wealth within the summit as well, really helping us understand the different financial vehicles that can help us get to that next level, because saving your money is not going to make you a multimillionaire. You have to invest.

Deneen L. Garrett: 21:49 23:57 Yeah, yeah. And you know what? So again, when you were talking about the speakers, when you were talking just now, especially the wealth part, I thought about someone else. So Rachel Rogers, I'm sure you love her as well. Yes, I was a shmilly. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yes. So yes. I love her. I love her book. We should all be millionaires. Yes. Definitely agree. And the thing that I took away from her, and when I'm talking about Rachel, I always repeat this part, but she's all about growth. And so this kind of goes back to earlier when you talked about reviewing your list, because in essence, that's what Rachel was suggesting as well. What are some things that you don't want to do? Take those things off your plate, find somebody else to do them, and it frees you up. And it frees you up in so many different ways. It frees you up physically. It definitely frees you up mentally. Because I think that a lot of things weigh us down. Yeah. And we don't really do anything to get rid of them. We still just let them burden us. Right. I think you've even mentioned that word in this conversation. But when we take the time to say, you know what, I really don't like to cook, which is one of the things Rachel. So hire someone right or let me get a food service or something to freak up that because I don't like doing it. So it, you know, brings me, you know, I pause, but not in a good way. You know, it's time, you know, to cook or do whatever that thing is that you don't like to do. So we need to think about that. And then also the growth mindset. with, like you said, savings. So, you know, they're like, oh, you know, don't go get that latte, don't get this or that, you know, save that money. Well, those few dollars really don't put a dent in anything. So instead, figure out how you can make money. You know, so the dream lifestyle that we're talking about, take time, review, think about what is your dream life? You know, how do you want to live and how much does it cost to live that dream life? And now what can you do to make that money? So that's what I took away from Rachel. And I'm sure that those are, you know, some of the things that your speakers will talk about at your event as well.

Bianca B. King: 23:58 24:29 Absolutely. Yeah, I mean we're going to, you know, be talking about exactly that. Also to, you know, this event is geared towards women entrepreneurs and it's like, well, now you've got this business. Now what do you do, right, and a lot of women entrepreneurs they feel lonely they feel isolated they feel like they're doing it wrong and it's like, No, you're not. And you're probably a lot farther than you think. And we're going to show you how to get to that next step and that next level. And while you're doing all of that, let's make sure that you're also growing your wealth on this side as well. So yeah, it's going to be pretty, pretty fantastic.

Deneen L. Garrett: 24:29 25:03 Awesome. It sounds very exciting. So we'll make sure to include that in the show notes when we send that out. So I have enjoyed this conversation and enjoy speaking with you, learning about you. Definitely. There's some alignment. What your what your event is about is definitely what our listeners and those who watch what is important to them as well. So I'm glad for that. And we're going to make sure they get that information. But Bianca B. King, thank you so much for lending your voice on women of color and intimate conversation and enjoy the rest of your day.

Bianca B. King: 25:04 25:06 Thank you so much for having me. You're welcome.